Shine Now! Mag July 2016 Shine Now! Mag July Volume 1 Issue 2 | Page 25

I will never forget the day I heard her voice. It was one year
after my sister's death I heard her ask me, “Jacqui can’t
you just be happy for me?” I looked up and said, “I am
happy for you. But I am sad for me.”
Death is one of the greatest mysteries of life.The finality of
death is hard to accept. One day they are here and the next
they’re gone. You push yourself to release them, but long
for another chance to see them. You feel helpless, alone
and at times, vulnerable.
Moving forward was a moment-by-moment experience. It
was my mantra for survival. I didn’t know what the next
moment held. One minute I laughed out loud because of
something we once shared. The next minute I cried
because I'd never see her again.
Tears are a part of the healing and cleansing process. Soon,
I cried because of my transition to acceptance instead of
mourning. Along the way, I learned to let go.
God permits us to say goodbye even though we don’t
realize it. I recalled a conversation with my sister. We
talked about how God gives us resilience after experiencing
an overwhelming loss.
Reflecting back, I was letting Patricia know I was going to
be all right. She grew tired. I knew it, yet I didn’t want to
accept it. Our spirits communicated on another plane. In
essence, the year preceding her death we released each
other and said goodbye.
Now, Patricia dwells in the bosom of my memories. As
time progressed my memories became priceless treasures.
The memories that were hard to embrace gives me
strength.

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