She Magazine June 2014 | Page 102

Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC I contributing writer ManDown This article is designed to better help you identify male depression in our society. This can differ from female depression because of how society has traditionally indoctrinated and taught males and females to behave and think. This teaching regarding male-female thinking has been going on for decades. Men have been taught that real men don’t cry and if you feel sad or unhappy, you should always hide it and cover it up. Men get depressed, and it is misdiagnosed and overlooked. Now, there is an epidemic of male depression. It is believed that stress is the culprit, and men typically don’t seek help because they are taught that it is a sign of weakness. Hopefully, you can figure out how to help the man in your life if you believe that he is sad or depressed and needs help. Many men cover up and mask their depression because they were taught that it is a woman’s condition. Many times, women are diagnosed as depressed by exploring their feelings. Women get sad and want to talk to a friend to get ‘connected.’ They are aware of how they feel while men are not. To help you determine if a man is depressed, it may help to look at his behavior. 102 June 2014 Men tend to vent their depression through frustration and anger. They are irritable and very moody. They withdraw and give everyone the ‘silent treatment.’ This is how they ‘mask’ their depression. An example might be that your husband did not meet his goals at work, and his job is on the line. He may not tell you any of this, but he screams at the children and watches television to escape his problems. He gives you the silent treatment and is not aware of any of his feelings. Men are taught to ignore and bury their feelings, so a lot of them have no idea how they really feel. For weeks, he may be in this spiral of depression where he denies feelings of depression. He withdraws and refuses to talk. When he does respond, he overreacts and may express anger, hostility and frustration - all inappropriate for the situation because he is masking underlying depression. Spousal abuse may have depression as the cause and trigger. Women tend to have overt depression with symptoms that include sadness, fatigue, negative thinking and moodiness. Men usually have covert symptoms that include behavioral changes since they are usually not in touch with their feelings and therefore may not be aware that they are sad and depressed. However, the