She Magazine JULY 2016 | Page 73

“ LAMIBIA DUNHAM AND TOCCARRA PASLEY’S FRIENDSHIP BEGAN IN THE THIRD GRADE when both girls enrolled in the ALERT Gifted and Talented Program in Hartsville, South Carolina. Lamibia recalls, “My first impression of Toccarra was that she was so pretty with beautiful, long, black hair and a gorgeous smile. She looked like a doll baby to me. I thought she was pretty and nice, so I wanted to be her friend.” Toccarra remembers young Lamibia as quiet and nice. The girls found some commonalities in one anoth- WE BOTH UNDERSTOOD THAT DISTANCE MAY SEPARATE US, BUT WE ARE ALWAYS together in each other’s heart. “ er, especially the gap they had between their teeth that always showed when they smiled. Lamibia’s mother had considered naming her Toccarra, and the girls also had similar birthmarks on their lower backs. During recess, Lamibia and Toccarra could often be found in the clover patch, searching for four-leaf be friends this long, Toccarra knew without a question that Lamibia was clovers and talking. Although they attended different elementary schools, her best friend, and she eagerly anticipated reuniting with her after each the girls developed a strong friendship through their once-a-week ALERT hangout. meetings. Says Toccarra, “This is where our lifelong friendship began.” Lamibia adds, “Something just clicked.” were times when Lamibia feared being replaced, but both have done well at The girls stayed together through the sixth grade. Once that school year maintaining contact with one another. “She has her friends, and I have mine, was over, they would be separated for two years when Toccarra moved to a but it is known that we are ‘besties,’ and nothing or no one can change that. school in Florence and Lamibia stayed in Hartsville. Lamibia shares, “I hon- Although we had to finish growing separately, we never grew apart. We both estly thought this was the end for us, but God had a different plan. I didn’t understood that distance may separate us, but we are always together in know until later that it was my mom’s prayer for me not to go to our local each other’s heart.” These days, they call each other during the early morning high school. She wanted something different for me. In the meantime, Mayo hours before work. They also FaceTime once a week and see one another at Magnet High School for Math, Science, and Technology was in the works. least once a month. Now that Lamibia is a wife and mom, it’s not easy to get Our guidance counselor gave out packets, and I put my packet in the trash. in the car and drive to Charleston, but they both unde rstand that should one However, my mom had filled one out and sent it back in.” Little did she know need the other, they would be wherever needed in the blink of an eye. at the time, but she was about to reunite with Toccarra. SHEMAGAZINE.COM After graduating from college, Toccarra chose to stay in Charleston. There In Lamibia’s eyes, Toccarra is the most selfless person she’s ever met. She’s Now that they were at the same school, Lamibia and Toccarra became even a great nurse and an outstanding godmother to Lamibia’s children. She’s also closer than before. During senior year, Lamibia, like many young teens, felt her sister. “I like the saying, ‘God made us best friends because He knew our uncertain as to what career path upon which she should embark after grad- moms couldn’t handle us as sisters.’ I begged my mom to have another baby uation. “No one in my family had attended college, so I was clueless as to so I could have a sister and share that loving bond I see so often displayed what was next.” Thankfully, she had Toccarra to provide words of wisdom. “I amongst sisters, but that totally wasn’t happening in our household, so I feel had listened to her talk about being a neonatologist for years. That October, like God gave me Toccarra to show me that, although not by blood, we are I received a letter from Clemson with a scholarship offer, but they needed me still sisters by divine connection.” Lamibia’s house or workplace is always the to declare a major. Needless to say, Toccarra inspired my decision to go into first stop once Toccarra arrives in Florence, and their families typically spend healthcare, and it has been the best decision of my life.” Toccarra had origi- Thanksgiving together. Lamibia’s children spend each Christmas Eve with nally planned on going to Clemson and Lamibia to the College of Charleston; Toccarra and her family, and Toccarra joins Lamibia’s family for the Christmas however, it was Toccarra who attended the College of Charleston. Despite the morning family breakfast gathering. She was there when all four of Lamibia’s distance, the girls stayed in touch as their friendship blossomed into their children were born, and Lamibia’s daughter, Amiya, accompanies Toccarra’s adulthood. Distance would play a huge factor in the future of their friendship, family on their vacation at least once a year. “She’s just a part of my family, but Lamibia and Toccarra had no worries. Says Toccarra, “Back then, we did and my family accepts it. My brothers refer to her as their sister. She played not have cell phones or any other form of technology to keep in touch with a significant role in my baby showers, my wedding, and most recently my one another. But, we would always find one another and pick back up where mom’s surprise 60th birthday party. I’m just so blessed that God poured such we left off.” Although she didn’t know at the time that she and Lamibia would an overflow of love and compassion amongst us.” CONTINUED... JULY 2016 75