Ashley Elvington staff writer
G
YOU’VE GOT A Friend IN ME!
rowing up as a child completely infatuated with Disney movies, I often longed for the
great friendships seen on film. Genie and Aladdin, Timon and Pumba, Fox and Hound (I
still haven’t recovered from that movie), and one of my favorites still to this day, Woody
and Buzz (although they had to learn how to like each other after facing multiple bouts of
conflict). This desire was furthered even more due to me being an only child. I often joke about what
it was like playing Barbies and games by myself, which more often than not makes my friends feel
sorry for me (I just laugh; if anything, it increased my imagination). I wanted someone who, like the
many characters named previously, completed a missing part of me. Someone who would be there
by my side, no matter what circumstances were before me.
Once I entered school, I was a rather quiet, shy child. In kindergarten, I was fortunate enough to
make friends with three girls who were also quiet and shy, and that helped us bond. I’m not sure
where those girls are today, but Stacey, Virginia, and Candace, I remember you three as kind and
sweet. In my neighborhood, I became close with the two girls who lived on each side of me, as well
as with the boy who lived behind me. I will always remember him because he had a trampoline and
he gave me a beautiful gold bracelet with a gold heart that had “Ashley” engraved upon it - my first
gift from a boy. Shannon, Ashleigh, and Dustin K. – I do not know where all of you are today, but I wish
you well, as I have fond memories of you all.
At daycare, I developed a bond with a girl I talked about in my very first contributing piece for She
back in August 2012. She is now a mom of a beautiful baby girl, and although we don’t talk to each
other or see each other like we did all through elementary and on up to college, she knows that I will
always be there for her and that I will always have love in my heart for her. She and I added to our circle as we excelled in grades. Each girl we befriended was different from the other, yet they all added
something truly special to the group. We had our own lunch table and were well known for picking
one another as partners in class assignments and projects. We talked about boys, boy bands (which
we cared about more than actual boys), lip gloss, perfume, etc. There were many laughs shared
within that group, and although two or three ended up exiting (due to moving away or pointless drama), it was great to have a diverse support system to get through those awkward adolescent years.
Somewhere along the way, I managed to make a few other guy friends as well. Six in particular come
to mind while reminiscing about middle school and high school. One unfortunately moved away and
we lost touch, one remained within our circle of girls, one I am still close with today, another I talk to
every now and then, another has moved away but is still a friend, and the other eventually became
my boyfriend once I graduated from high school. Guys were always different in the area of friendship.
Where I found most girls would tell you what they thought you wanted to hear (“Oh, stop! He likes
you! Trust me!”), my guy friends would tell it like it is (“He doesn’t like you, sorry.”). It was a hard pill to
swallow at times, but I found myself seeking their advice more often than that of my girlfriends. I have
always believed in telling people the truth with absolutely no sugar coating, which is why I believe it
was always easier for me to make friends with boys rather than girls. Also, I grew up around my male
cousins, usually getting their hand-me-down clothes and toys, so I was definitely a tom boy, or as Katy
Perry calls it, “one of the boys.” That being said, it’s not unusual for me to be cordial to boyfriends
after we have broken up. I was never that ex-girlfriend who went “crazy” or caused problems. I always
choose the mature way out and occasionally talk to a couple of them from time to time.
After high school, our circle changed and many of us went our separate ways. College was a weird
transitioning period for me, especially the first year. I felt very out of place at the first school I attended, making only one decent friend that year who unfortunately moved back home to Pennsylvania.
Things were a bit easier once I transferred to Francis Marion University, as I made friends with several
people out there, most of whom I stay in touch with today. I also became close with people I met outside of school. One girl I met through MySpace, and we quickly became best friends. She introduced
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JULY 2016
me to her circle, which included one of my best friends from middle school and high school, and
other boys were introduced who would later become pals of mine. In addition, I became close with
three people from my church, who I am still in touch with today and view as family. Although I don’t
see one of them that much anymore due to them having a family, the bond will always be there. The
other two I see pretty much every week, as we are a modern day version of the Three Amigos.
Work associates developed into friends as w ell, as I became best friends with a co-worker from
Food Lion and bonded with two guys who worked with me, one in particular married one of my
co-workers (and beloved friend) here at She Mag. Speaking of She Mag, these ladies have become
like family to me. Much like my circle from school days, each of these women bring something different to the table, both professionally and personally. We are like a modern day version of the Golden
Girls. We laugh, we cry, we eat, we get on each other’s nerves… But, we love each other through it all.
Now that I’m older, I still have quite a diverse group friends. There are those in their 20s, those in
their 30s and 40s, some even older than that – all male and female, all from different backgrounds.
Yet, it is rewarding to know every single one of them. Each has been a blessing (and sometimes even
a lesson) in many ways. While we’re mentioning lessons, I must say that although I don’t want to admit it, I am grateful for the bad “friends,” too. Friends can break your heart also, which I’ve discovered
on more than one occasion. For a while there, I thought something must have been wrong with me
for so many wrong people to come into my life. But, there were many lessons to be learned in order
for me to grow and seek better for myself, in terms of the qualifications that needed to be met to be
considered a friend of mine.
Just as seasons come and go, so do people in our lives. Looking back at the people who have
left and the ones who have remained, I have to thank God for all of them, regardless of how things
turned out. The ones that were not meant to travel by my side, God removed from my path. He’s still
working on that today, as I have a few lingering by that I need to say adios to… Just call me the Toxic
Avenger, in the sense that I’m trying to protect myself from now on and am working on getting the
toxic Negative Nancys out of my life. Because who wants a “friend” who is constantly jealous of you
and your accomplishments? I don’t know about you, but that’s not what Randy Newman sang about
in “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” Sure, Woody was jealous of Buzz and was easily threatened by him.
But, along the way, Woody decided to give peace a chance and became friends with his former nemesis. There are those, though, that do not recover from the jealousy disease. It’s sad and I often pray
for them, as I’ve found they have quite a huge void within their hearts to be bitter over something a
loved one has that they don’t.
This is the year of change. So many wonderful things have flowed into my life, as I have recently
made two new friends and have become closer to those who remain. God has answered my prayers,
as I have asked daily for godly people with good intentions and pure hearts to enter my life. Not to
say that I don’t have those already, I do. But, you can never have too many positive, supportive,
encouraging friends in life. A lot of negativity has exited and I am clinging onto the promises of my
Heavenly Father. He has shown me in just the past few months that something great is coming, for I
initially felt this back in March when springtime rolled in.
As for me, I am working daily on ways to be a better friend. I’m still the “mom” of the group, steady
looking out for each of my “babies,” no matter how old they are, and having that “proud mom look”
when they succeed. It’s so inspiring and such a blessing to be able to witness the accomplishments
of those I call friends. We’re celebrating friendship this month at She, but what about you? Take time
to stop and call or message someone who has been there for you through thick and thin. Life is too
short for anyone to be unsure as to what they mean to us. To my friends, I love you all dearly and you
all hold such a special place within my heart. As the theme song from my favorite television show
goes, “Thank you for being a friend!”
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