Shantih Journal Issue 2.2 | Page 13

& endeavor no atonement. I’ve gone west & met plateaus & red dirt hearts of gilded silver, gone south & found the weather of the sickly roadrunner before the highway, witness to both a then & now–– The past is in this air, this now, is in this charge upon my brittle & cold fingernails, so I slip them out the window & into gray, through white blind space. The past is why I love, the past is why I love what smothers me, the way that my breath mars the passenger seat, the way these flying cars beat their souls against a sun. The past is why I love the way the moon will laugh at my carcass in the great yellow someday. 13