Shantih Journal 2.1 - Page 29

Back in college his roommate, Fairfax, made this flow chart for him. He was pre-med and not interested in most of the biology. So in his spare time he would get a Taber’s dictionary and make flow charts for diagnosing diseases. He left them around the common room. His guests would pick them up and after a few seconds of reading would announce that they think they have something: “I think I have syphilis!” “You don’t have syphilis; you probably just have acne on your dick,” He would laugh, probably putting on his jacket as they would head off somewhere and then say, “Although the only way to know is to see a doctor.” He was crass. Women liked him anyway. Even with a name like Fairfax, he was not unfamiliar with the patient’s end of penicillin. David started many bowls of Count Chocula with an awkward smile and wave to frizzy-haired women either amazingly overdressed or underdressed to be in the common areas of their student housing apartment. Fairfax had a car. A black BMW 7-series paid for with his family’s money. Fairfax was the different one in a family of performers. His dad was the drummer of some esoteric band that was big in Europe, but apparently only known for the female vocalist. His mother starred in indie films. His family wasn’t famous, but rich anyhow. He would run errands for David sometimes and take care of him when he was sick. David paused the cartoon on the PlayStation 3 and pulled himself from under his fleece blanket to paw at the plastic bags Fairfax had just left on the coffee table. Looking through the bags David asked, “Why did you only buy Nyquil? Don’t I need Dayquil?” Fairfax was heading off to class. “You’re a programmer. You never go to class and all you do is jack off, watch cartoons, and play Nintendo 64 all day.” “That’s not all I do,” David protested. Fairfax wasn’t buying it, “It won’t matter if you sleep for a week.” “I wanted to finish ‘Tsubasa Chronicles’ this week.” “That’s the one where they have to collect like infinity magic feathers, and it takes like five episodes to collect just one? Yeah, fuck that waste of time.” 29