Shantih Journal 2.1 - Page 22

David isn’t one to disturb the universe; he’s a programmer - and a good one. A good one, but a lonely one. He takes symbols and letters and creates entire worlds that only exist in the consciousness of machines. He isn’t as talented at invading the worlds of others in real life. What good excuse does any someone have to talk to someone else? David coughs and goes into his kitchen: disgusting microwave, immaculate stovetop, drying rack with a dish, a fork, and a cup. His refrigerator’s exterior is lined with web comics on printer paper that are scotch-taped together and held up by industrial magnets powerful enough to be auxiliary door handles. Most of the comics are Homestuck and XKCD. He pours himself a cup of half hard cider with half Southern Comfort, and a touch of Jägermeister. He doesn’t know much about alcohol, but this drink is sweet and gets him drunk quickly and is named after Applejack, the My Little Pony of honesty. This drink helps him sleep through his cough and whiplash. He likes to add an ice cube in the shape of Han Solo frozen in carbonite. David questions the point of someone putting illness in the world as the ice submerges and cracks, tearing the surface away from its solid core. Sometime after college David just slowly began to feel reality had an increasing and certain sense of surrealism, a feeling which never faded away. It led to panic attacks and eventually a seizure. He had a friend who could help him back then, but there are always hours when people are alone. After college, these solitary hours overshadowed the others, which is best since panic attacks are sometimes by nature best had in private. In moments like these, it helps David to trust his mind to ontological argumentation. One time, when clutching yards of individual and various tear- stained fabrics in the corner between his bed and his wall, he distracted himself with the possibility that someone was feeding a false reality directly into his brain. He rubbed the fabrics against his skin. He remembered the voice of his college professor, “What if you are just a brain in a vat and some genius is controlling your five senses? Before any of you say it, yes, like the movie ‘The Matrix’.” David ran this scenario through his mind. !ݽɕѡ́݅́ɕ䁄ɡѽɥɥ ͥѡ(