Rubberneck Issue 10 (July 2014) - Page 13

So I’m in there and they take us through several jails in chains. Then they take you outta the chains and you go in front of the judge. I walked in there, it was a like some kinda movie, like when you watch a real long movie. You ever watch a movie that went on for like 36 hours? Me neither, but that’s what it seemed like. So like at the end, like Rome Is Burning and Charlton Heston, he’s all covered in soot and he’s victorious and he pulls his arms apart in the chains and the chains break and all the pillars fall. And so you walk in the room and the angels are singing and the choir and everything, the gong, and the Liberty Bell is ringing and they’re like “So hey, what’d you do?” And I’m like “I don’t fucking know, I got a speeding ticket three years ago and I paid it and now I’ve been in jail for 4 days.” The prosecutor’s like “Oh yeah, I see what’s going on here. It’s just an 82-53-97-65.” He goes to the judge and the judge says “What’s going on here?” The guy’s like “65-82-93-47,” and he’s like “Oh, dismissed, boom boom.” And he banged that hammer. The prosecutor goes “Hey, hey, you should get the fuck outta here.” He goes “Go home and stay outta trouble.” And I’m like, “You fucking