ON JAIL
Been there a bunch of times. For
nothing, for nothing. That’s what
everybody says, right? You go down to
jail, everybody’s like “Aw man, I didn’t
do nothing. Man I didn’t do shit.”
Nobody there did nothing. It’s amazing,
everybody’s in jail but nobody did nothing.
I didn’t do nothing either. I was in jail,
there I was with all my colleagues, my
compatriots, my comrades, we’d all done
nothing. I guess if you’re doing something
you don’t get taken to jail ‘cause you got
things to do. What’s funny about jail is
when you’re in jail it’s horrible, but when
you get outta jail you’re like “Aw man, it’s
actually hilarious.” If you’re not in jail,
it’s hilarious. If you just had a television
channel, if you could have a substitute
who’s in jail for you and wear a camera on
his head, you’d be home watching it on
television, you’d be laughing your ass off.
Dying. Everytime I go to jail, I get outta
jail and I’m like “That was hilarious!” But
while I was in there I was thinking that
I’m never gonna get out, thinking that
it was some kind of bad dream, some
kind of film or novel, some kind of movie.
one time, but I paid it.” And they said “Well no you didn’t. You gotta go to
Once you get out everyone’s like “How
Staten Island.” I said “All right, let’s go.” They said “We’re busy right now,
was jail?” And actually it was fucking
we don’t got anybody to drive you there.” Get the fuck outta here!
hilarious.
I went to jail one time, I’m standing out
on the street and the police came by.
They’re like “What’re you doing here?”
I was doing nothing and my other
colleague, my friend, he was standing on
the street dinking a beer. The police came
by and said “Show me your ID” and I