RHG Magazine & TV Guide TM - Holiday 2018 © All rights reserved.
Unmask the Potential of Your Movement
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As women, it is so easy for us to fall back on our genetic and cultural heritage. We were taught at a very young age that our role in life was to be supportive, be “perfect,” to prove ourselves by knowing 100% of any job or endeavor we wanted to take on. We were often told that the qualities that make us feminine were not valued, especially in the workplace or in politics. “Feminine” qualities include creativity, collaboration, cooperation, compassion, empathy, intuition, patience, vision, emotions and “heart.”
So, we hid them (thereby, ourselves) behind a mask or behind a curtain. We were in the shadows.
Enter the masculine leadership model...
If we did step out, it was by taking on the qualities of the masculine role model accepted by society, since men typified leadership. The “masculine” qualities included using our mind over our heart, process over vision, telling rather than asking, competing not collaborating, being assertive bordering on aggressive. However, when we exhibited these qualities we didn’t fit the picture men (and many women) had of what feminine is, so we became “That Boss!” – the woman who was disliked by men because she didn’t fit the image they expected and by women because she appeared to have gone to the “dark side.”
Have you ever had “That Boss?” Have you ever been “That Boss?” If not, do you know someone like this? I know you do!
I have to be honest, this was me. I come from a military background. Even in the Women’s Army Corps, to be successful you needed to follow the masculine model – you commanded. You gave orders according to your rank, and followed orders as they were given.
You can imagine the “culture shock” I experienced once I left this environment! It became that I needed to change, or fail. I began to study leaders, especially women leaders.
What I found is that the most successful leaders find a balance between the masculine and feminine qualities of leadership. They learn how to uncover and call up the masculine aspects within them (which, by the way, is true for all of us). They learn to marry the two sides to blend into a cohesive approach.
The masculine – command, assertiveness, action – comes into play when, for example, the building is burning and everyone needs to get out. A woman can take up that mantle and use it to bring people to safety. When it is necessary to strategize and bring everyone onboard with a decision, she can call up the feminine by attentively listening to and understanding divergent arguments, holding the vision for the group to keep them focused, and showing her emotional intelligence to help the group reach the best result possible to reach their goals.
This ability to utilize the feminine and masculine qualities is empowered leadership at its very best. And, yes, even today, she may experience pushback. It still takes courage for a woman to step into this kind of leadership with unapologetic confidence. But it’s so worth it!
Women as change agents
Something else we share as women is a passion to create change. We demonstrate it in our homes, with our families, and in the workplace. We generally are not content with the status quo. We may make change in little things such as the flowers in the yard, the number of voters in our district, a neighborhood watch, or a school lunch program. Or, we may aspire to make global change in the areas of clean water, world hunger, sustainable crops and the like. Regardless of what the change is, we bring all of ourselves into the battle. Look at how we marched for women's rights, the right to vote, civil rights, and similar movements. We did not sit behind the scenes and wait – we took action.
Today we are seeing women starting movements to address abuse – sexual, domestic, racial, sexual orientation to name a few. We’re seeing women and teens take courageous stands on school violence and gun control. It was awe-inspiring to see them at the podium in Washington, D.C., and preach powerfully and passionately to the crowd about why violence needs to end. I can’t imagine any sane person not being moved by these children. In many respects they put their lives on the line by being that visible.
Yet, it was more important for them to speak out than to be safe behind the curtain.
The courage and conviction I’m seeing in these movements makes me even more passionate about the leadership training and mentoring work I do. I believe NOW is the right time for women to truly come out of the shadows and unmask their potential as powerful leaders in whatever they choose to do. Our families, our businesses, our communities, and the world need us!
Leadership may seem to you (as it does to many women) like something that is for “other people,” just for heroes, or something you have to be born with. Not so! To me, leadership is simply how you realize your purpose. It’s how you step out for your cause, your passion, your movement. And once you’ve committed to stepping into a leadership role, there is no way you can hide behind the mask or in the shadows any longer. Once you have the awareness of the leader that you are, there is no turning back!
My movement is to teach women how to grow movements. I’ve gotten the ball rolling this year, and my intention for 2019 is to take it to a whole new level, reaching and teaching as many women as I possibly can. The more I step into my purpose with empowered leadership, the richer, more meaningful and more satisfying my life becomes.
As you begin to reflect on the accomplishments of the year so far and what the end of the year could bring for you, take some time to look at how you lead in your life in these ways:
Think about the feminine and masculine qualities you possess, the strengths you show in everything you take on.
Celebrate those qualities and strengths!
Consider how you can empower yourself even further to make an impact, boldly, unapologetically and confidently.
Know that you are not alone, even when you feel that you’re being pushed back or unappreciated. There is a community of women waiting to support you.
And I invite you to contemplate this question: Are you ready to step into leadership in support of your cause and in expression of your purpose, or will you keep playing it safe in the shadows?
milestones based on major star patterns expands your vision. You see that there are as many possibilities as stars in the sky. If you keep looking at the ground, you may miss those opportunities. Especially when things get “stormy” along the way (and they will, as that is part of the journey), what I often say to my clients is…
“Remember to stop and look at where your focus is. Is it on your beautiful vision or on the mud at your feet?”
When you navigate with your eye on the ground, your sight can be very limited. Here is a cautionary tale to illustrate what I mean:
I was an Executive Officer of a basic training company in the U.S. Army. We were making plans to take our troops to the field for a two-day (and night) exercise. One part was to simulate a “nuclear attack,” which would take place at night and, basically, involve a blinding flash of light to be sent at the troops. What do you think would happen to your night vision? Right - it would be destroyed. And the group still was going to have to move over an open field to a very narrow opening in the trees which led to our next destination.
As “cadre” my Sergeants and I had walked the course ahead of time; we knew there were reflectors on the trees to help us navigate the march - my Corporal did not.
During the exercise, I told her that she would be leading us into the opening. She trusted me implicitly. The blinding flash of light appeared. Disoriented but undaunted, she proceeded to move over the field to find our opening. Suddenly I heard a crash followed by a scream of pain. Oops – she had been so concerned about not running into anything on the ground, that she completely forgot to look ahead. If she had kept her eyes up rather than down she would have seen the reflectors and missed those huge trees flanking the opening. Lesson learned!
Now, you can also spend all your time looking up at the sky and miss things that are right under your feet. Like the time I was on Maui, taking my early morning walk around the resort. It was a glorious summer day and my eyes were up watching the sky, the birds, and the bright green foliage of the trees. When suddenly I heard a loud “crunch” followed by “Yuck - that’s gross!” behind me. When I turned around and looked down, I saw on the path a very VERY large snail, crushed and oozing. Had I been monitoring the path while enjoying the sky, I would have been able to step around it, not on it.
The moral: Stay aware and keep your balance
As growers of gardens, of movements, of businesses, we need to be aware of all that is around us. We build our star chart to give us the course we need to take to reach our vision. This gives us infinite ways to go and doesn’t tie us down to a linear path from A to Z. For those of us who are creative, this is what we need to be able to have the boldest, most amazing success with our ventures.
In addition, we need to be aware of what is right at our feet. If a gardener only looked at the sky, even if it were to figure out the weather patterns affecting the plants, she might miss their needs right in front of her. What if you didn’t see all the weeds choking your plants or the aphids eating up your roses or the cute bunnies munching on your vegetables? What would your harvest look like come fall? Would you have realized your vision, or ended up with something totally different?
Like the mariners who navigate by the stars to get to their destination, look up and ahead to keep your “eyes on the prize” to achieve your vision. Just remember also that being grounded to Mother Earth will provide the nourishment necessary for you to shine!
start to develop a vision for the movement, by imagining what the result will look like, not how you’ll get there (for now) but what it can become. Write your vision statement, which will be the underpinning for your journey to a thriving movement, by following these 4 steps.
1. This is the time for personal reflection. You need to go deep into your core to bring up what your values are, and how they translate into your movement. They will become the passion, purpose and clarity you’ll need to carry you through any challenges you may face.
2. Look at your own strengths – are they in writing, speaking, inspiring people, raising money, taking photographs? The gardener considers what she has to work with to create her garden, i.e., soil, water availability, wind protection, her own ability to work the land, perhaps CA natives or certain species of fruit will thrive better than others and still get the desired results she envisions.
Tip: If recognizing your strengths does not come easily to you, then talk to the people who know you best – close friends, family, trusted colleagues. They will definitely have insight into areas of strength to which you are blind.
3. Then create that mental picture. Allow your imagination to run free, picturing all possibilities! Get specific so you can really give energy to it and get a clear picture of what you want to accomplish.
As an example, here is what I see in the movement that I am growing: I see a vision of being in an intimate retreat with women who know they are meant to bring big change to the world and want the blueprint to make it happen. I also see myself standing on a stage before a standing-room-only crowd, passionately speaking on my movement.
4. Embed your vision into all five senses. This is a powerful step that really engrains the vision into your subconscious so that it is out there looking for opportunities for you. Through the mental picture you are writing down, answer:
“What do you see?” Picture the change you want to see - even gather pictures that represent what that looks like. Keep them with you to refer to and inspire you every day. When I was working to earn the reward of a cruise to Alaska, I had photos of the ship and maps of the route we would take everywhere - mirrors, screensavers, doors, in the car!
“What do you hear?” The gardener may imagine birds twittering in the shrubs or the ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ of people touring the property. I had the John Denver song Alaska and me as my cellphone ringtone (don’t laugh - it worked, I won the trip!).
“What do you taste and smell?” Georgia peaches for the gardener, cedar-smoked salmon for me. Get creative - what would it be for your movement vision?
“What do you feel?” This is a beautiful one for impassioned change. Awe for the amazing people who have come together to work with you; satisfaction in the fruits of your labors; happy faces and love from the people whose lives you influenced?
Then leadership come in
But is a strong vision enough? No, this is where leadership comes in - as Warren Bennis says, “translating vision into reality.”
Back to our garden metaphor, the beautiful garden is a result of the gardener’s work of preparing the soil, buying the seedlings, planting, weeding, watering consistently, deadheading, pruning, harvesting - you get the idea!
Your vision is only the first step in creating a thriving garden or business or movement. Now it’s time to call in your power, those strengths you have identified, and get more specific about the roadmap you will follow to create this movement.
As you further develop your vision statement, here are three tips to bring the “THRIVE” into it:
Include specific goals, what you would like to achieve over this next year; how you want to be known by others who are involved in the movement with you.
Ensure that the end result reflects your core values and identify how they align with your life’s purpose.
Consider how you want your future to be regarding health, wealth, relationships, family, spirit. Ensure that your vision brings balance and focus to these areas.
"A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them." - Liberty Hyde Bailey
Just as a garden requires effort and attention, so do your vision and the leadership activities that will take you forward. A clear, aligned, powerful vision statement will create a strong foundation for all your efforts to grow a thriving movement and impact others in a global way!