of people who do not respect the institution of
marriage. In short, marriage is hard and married
couples need a substantial amount of support, in
terms of prayer, guidance, teaching, fellowship and
community. Henry and I certainly needed, and still
need, all of these things.
And then there’s parenting. Henry and I became
newlyweds and new parents within the same year.
We had little time to settle into marriage before our
baby boy came into the world, begging for constant
attention, affection and provision. My pregnancy
wasn’t straightforward either; we spent an entire
night convinced we lost the baby after a bout of
heavy bleeding. Pregnancy and childbirth brings with
it a storm of hormonal change, physiological change
and phenomenal challenges to one’s identity – I
was no longer Bianca the writer, footballer, would-
be guitar player and passionate traveller, I was
‘Bianca the mum’.
While being married is like being stretched until
your seams start bursting, becoming a parent goes
beyond that; you hardly have time to breathe before
you realise all your seams are already burst. Whereas
before marriage I was incredibly selfish and self-
centred, after marriage I was forced to learn what it
meant to sacrifice myself to love my husband well
and after becoming a parent I had to learn how to
let go of myself completely, because all the love I
may had previously reserved for myself, it is now
demanded from my son.
Yes, these processes are phenomenally beautiful,
necessary and perfectly designed by God, but we
are not meant to go through them alone. Henry and
I would never choose to do it alone. We need our cell
leaders, our cell members, older married couples
and parents to counsel us, friends to journey with us,
teaching specific to married couples and parents and
a lot of prayer support, which calls for intimate and
transparent friendships with others who can speak
into our lives and marriage.
We need to tackle the giant of Marriage
and Family. We need the marriage enrichment
course, crèche on a Sunday to give parents space
to hear the word, the womb ministry to pray with us
through any complications in pregnancy or difficulties
conceiving in the future, the generosity of other
parents who lend and give us baby stuff, the prayers
and fasting of church members as they lift our
families and children up to Jesus and a community
of people just like us, going through the fast-paced,
Harry and Bianca with baby Ethan
all-encompassing process of sanctification that
comes with marriage and parenting.
No married couple or parents should have to go on
the journey alone. Together, as a church, we can help
build strong families and nurture the next generation
of children on fire for Jesus.
We are yet to officially launch our forum for Tackling
the Giant of Marriage and Family, nonetheless we
still have much that takes place through KT in this
area: the pre-marital course, mums & toddlers group,
parenting course, marriage encounters and our
marriage enrichment course. ❖
Our next Marriage Enrichment course starts
on Friday 9 September and it’s not too late to
register, see page 35 for details.
If you would like to be involved in Tackling the
Giant of Marriage and Family please fill out one
of our ‘Giants’ flyers and we will be in touch.
Revival Times September 2017 25