Reloaded Mag Africa Volume 20 - Page 8

ALMOST 30 - A SINGLE GIRL IN ‘JOZI’

So, just to set the picture for you clearly… I am an African female, late 20’s, easy on the eye, single, with no children – and yes, you guessed right – those dreadful questions about where my life is going have started emerging from the woodwork. ‘So girl, when are you finding a man and settling down?’ – Friends. ‘When are you getting married?’ – Family. ‘How many kids do you want?’ – Potential lovers… All those annoying questions that make you feel like there is something wrong with where you are in your journey of this thing we all call life.

Funny, I’ve always been that girl who thought that I would be ‘wifed-up’, and busy baking my fourth ‘bun’ at this age. White picket fence – hot blue eyed hubby who keeps it in his pants, you know, living the dream. But alas, the universe had other plans for me. So here we are (yes, you are officially part of this circle of madness), taking the journey into not only navigating the single life in Jozi while rapidly approaching 30 but also, with any luck, find one of the ‘good ones’ still roaming out there looking for their perfect ending.

Now – to start this journey properly, let’s talk about what the ‘market’ is like these days. The globally accepted myth is that “ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN” so being the semi-open minded person that I am, I have given up on merely meeting ‘The One’ at parks / clubs / restaurants / bookshops (this is mainly because my taste in erotica seems to attract the same shallow, hit-it-then-quit-it type of guy) / office hook-ups ( those guys are always married or gay – trust me now, thank me later), and have taken my little ship and started sailing those ‘cyber’ waters where shows like Catfish and I nearly got away with it source their most interesting horror stories...

ship and started sailing those ‘cyber’ waters where shows like Catfish and I nearly got away with it source their most interesting horror stories...

Bear in mind I said I am semi-open minded so as much as I enjoy swiping left & clicking ‘like’ – I still need to see the potential. For instance, if your bio reads something as senile as “33, single & looking for a good time” all I see is a childish waste of time who will mess with my credit score and have me addicted to a ‘vitamin’ that was never meant for me to begin with.

Which brings me to my next point – you meet a guy (or a girl – whatever floats your little boat) online, his profile is amazing & articulate, he’s even easy on the eyes (because let’s face it, we are all somewhat visual creatures). You start chatting on which ever platform you are on, sooner or later, numbers are exchanged and then ((BOOM)) – all of a sudden it’s no longer appropriate or time efficient to woo a lady. What happened to the epoch of opening doors, calling and asking someone out to dinner and a movie, picking them up for said date, sending flowers and little notes just to say “thinking of you” or “had a great evening with you, hope to see you again soon”…?