Billy Moore speaks to 'Recovery Rises' about his best selling novel
Interview by Anthony Sweeney
“A young Thai, no older than 25, ran past me, his face showing pure terror. He slowed and turned to look at his assailant, who then passed me swinging his metal chair, striking the victims head. He lost balance, slipped, and hit the concrete with a loud thud. Another man appeared with a nine-inch knife, and stood over the young man’s body.…..”
The opening prologue to the book ‘A Prayer before Dawn’, written by our friend in recovery, Billy Moore, whom has also volunteered his time and recovery expertise to help Genie clients; one of whom, Tony, carried out the following interview with Bill.
Tony: Hi Billy, to begin with I would like to thank you for your time in doing this interview today. I have put some questions together and would like to first ask you at what age you took your first substance?
Billy: I was 9 years old - it was red wine.
Tony: Have you taken and been addicted to any other substances in the past?
Billy: what substance haven’t I used in the past…you know, cannabis progressed to speed, to magic mushrooms, then gas, cocaine, , methadone, ecstasy, LSD, crack and heroin.
Tony: What did you do to pay for what you took?
Billy: When I was in active addiction I would always find the ways and means to get my money to use drugs. Sadly I would go to any lengths. I robbed houses, people, myself, my mum & my family. There or steal from people less fortunate than myself. That sort of stuff was just set in stone. Even in addiction I still had certain morals, principles and a sense integrity.
Tony: Have you ever been to prison?
Billy: I’ve spent many a time in prison, I first went in 1989 to young offenders; the last time I was in prison in the UK was in 2003. I also experienced 8 months in 2010 in Wandsworth but that was for repatriation from the prison I was in Bangkok. I’ve been in 22 different prisons.
Tony: Whilst living in the UK can you describe your worst experience in terms of the lifestyle that you were leading.
Billy: The drugs, I believe, at the time were not killing me; it was the lifestyle that came with addiction. Guns, knives, fighting; the unmanageable way of surviving the mean streets of Liverpool; hiding from people and living a life on the run from the police. I was desperately using drugs to change the way I felt; the abandonment, the rejection and suffering from a massive wave of low self worth. Once when injecting heroin I overdosed and woke up from a deep coma in a Liverpool hospital where I had spent 5 weeks on a life support machine. Living in addiction was kind of dangerous!
Tony: You wrote an excellent and profound book that was good enough to be published, centered on your experiences in Thailand. Can you tell me why you went to Thailand?
Billy: I went to Thailand travelling whilst abstinent from drugs and enjoying life. Now clean I wanted to experience the joys of living; the world was my oyster. I always wanted to go somewhere and be someone and could only dream of travelling the world from a bottom bunk in a prison cell. I had never experienced anything but degradation and a hopeless existence; travelling the length and breadth of the UK in a urine infested sweat box. Yes I had been all over England in a prison bus but never had a passport and been abroad.
Tony: Can you give me a brief summary of what your book is about?
Billy: It’s about my journey in South East Asia, in early recovery, my addiction from an early age, and how I found a way out. I became an English teacher in foreign schools; I also worked with Sylvester Stallone on Rambo 4 as a stuntman whilst competing in martial arts professionally in Thailand. I fell in love with the country, the people; the culture, the food and the weather. I couldn’t believe how cheap everything was; I didn’t want to come home. I became complacent in all areas of my life and my recovery awareness faded - I had forgotten where I come from; Big mistake! With my foot off the pedal I started using again. Experiencing different drugs ‘Crystal Meth’ and ‘Yabba’; (which in Thai means crazy drug); before I knew it I was back in the grip of it all possessed by my addiction and committing offences again.
I started selling drugs to fund my new austere habit. Stealing anything to get my drug of choice and at the end of no choice escapism was my new reality. I found myself sitting in a Bangkok cell with 70 Thai’s, a hole in the ground as a toilet and chains on my ankles. Confused and baffled with the language I couldn’t express myself. I was scared but acted brave. I lived in fear of threats of HIV infected syringes made out of biros and threats of rape and death. Yet I couldn’t stop using - I knew I had to; I was on the verge of death due to an accident. High on weed, Yabba, opium I drove a motor cycle chaotically and was hit by two taxis; rupturing my stomach walls a handle bar entered me causing a hernia. I broke two ribs and suffered a punctured lung with massive internal bleeding. I remember laying on the floor with people around me. their lips moving yet I couldn’t hear a thing. I stopped breathing for a short while and was rushed to hospital 5 miles away in a wheel-barrow.