Six: Become Defeated – No matter how successful we think we are at attempting to bury our pain it will force force its way out through how we behave. Temper problems, paranoia, anxiety, shyness, jealousy, and being overly critical can all be signs of rejection that has not been properly dealt with. And, until we deal with the root of the problem we will continue to be unsuccessful at trying to change.
Seven: Becoming Discouraged – This is the most crucial stage, in my opinion. It is usually the point where one gets professional help or “bails out” of their current situation altogether. After time continues to pass by and nothing seems to have gotten better, or no change has been noticed at all, we start to feel hopeless about the whole situation.
Eight: Realize the Truth and Take Responsibility – Many times through the help of another, or by the graciousness of God, we discover the root of our bitterness. We are finally able to see how the past and present are connected. Everything kind of falls together and we see it clearly for the first time.
So, it is here we own up to our responsibility. We realize we need to stop blaming others and stop waiting for everybody and everything else around us to change. We finally open our hearts up to God so He can have His way and He can do His work, despite how it might cause us even more pain.
Nine: Deal With It – When we finally deal with an unforgiving attitude within ourselves the result is deliverance and a new sense of freedom. That unforgiving attitude that may have caused “embarrassing, inappropriate” family and friend dissolving behavior can be dealt with and put behind you.
You may be thinking, “But you have no idea what has happened to me. You have no idea the things I have gone through.” While that may be true, to be fair, you do not know the things I or anyone else have gone through either. Besides, I have dealt with and known people in all kinds of situations, situations you cannot even begin to fathom, who have been liberated by learning forgiveness.
UNFORGIVENESS
*Article inspired by, and highly adapted from, "The Gift Of Forgiveness" by Dr. Charles Stanley
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com