Real Life Real Faith Men of Faith November/December | Page 8

agreement coming in and that is all that the relationship is intended to be on…a financial basis, then
possibly it might just work. As we know, as it pertains to relationships, people tend to get emotional
ties when involved in relationships and this will even happen when the relationship starts off intending
to be on a financial and/or physical basis. Do “friends with benefits” relationships really work? That’s
another story for another day, but I will say this. Friends with benefits is a sort of relationship that is
based upon the physical and in some cases the financial, so in order for this type of relationship to
work out all parties involved must be upfront and honest about what it is that all parties seek from the
relationship. If this doesn’t happen, someone will more than likely get hurt if the feelings and/or
intentions change.
Now back to the matter at hand…being an anchor. To anchor can be defined as to provide with a firm
basis or foundation. In order for relationships to last and grow stronger the basis or foundation must
be strong and able to withstand adversity and issues that come within relationships. People often get
caught up in trying to please a person physically while in a relationship and will often neglect the glue
that hold relationships together, such as mental and emotional connections along with spiritual
connections as well. What happens when you grow older? What happens when a person gains weight
from stress, pregnancy, or health changes? What happens during disagreements? What happens where
things may become a little dull? How do you spice up a relationship? How do you recover from bad
arguments? Physical connections alone may not be enough to answer such questions. In my opinion a
strong base or foundation in a relationship comes from connections that involve mind, body, and soul
with mind and soul helping solidify that relationship. So…how can you be an anchor in a relationship?
Mentally…if you look at many surveys it will tell you that people believe mental is more important
than physical. Why? Because once you connect with someone mentally you can cause sparks to fly
simply through conversation which will lead to the physical heating up. A mental connection helps you
better understand a person’s real needs, which ties into the emotional connection. How do you make
your significant other happy? How do you make her smile? How do you resolve differences without the
whole relationship breaking down? That emotional connection helps you understand the Love
Languages. Read that book by the way….The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a great book that
talks about what love languages are and how to understand other people’s love language in relationship
to your own. And lastly…you have a spiritual connection. This helps you understand a person’s
spiritual beliefs and it will bring you closer together. A true spiritual connection tends to go beyond
sharing of superficial values such as interests, hobbies, religion, political views, education, etc. It tends
to be deeper matters such as core values, principles, and ways that you view life. Spiritual connections
bring you closer and lead you to be more comfortable with each other. A mental, emotional, and
spiritual connection helps make the physical connection more powerful. With those connections it is
easier to be one another’s anchors.