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In my darkest days I lived in the basement of my friend Dallas’s home – I needed to wrap myself in darkness so that was a perfect place for me. I studied the Book of Job, I lived the Book of Job and while I already understood it intellectually, I came to know it in my very soul.
PA: This wasn’t your first brush with death, was it?
RJ: No, it wasn’t. When I was 6 weeks old, my mother and I were in a head-on collision in New York. A man fell asleep at the wheel; I flew out of my car seat and hit the windshield with my head! Mom was in a brace from the neck down for 18 months and I was diagnosed with a fractured skull and possible brain damage. The doctors were shocked when I looked up as if I was trying to find my mother. They called me a miracle!
So this time I had peace because I knew the Lord would take me when He was ready, and not before.
PA: Raej, what are some of your biggest struggles today, 3 ½ years later?
RJ: There are still serious residual effects from the radiation and chemotherapy.
My short-term memory is basically gone, but I figured out a system with colored Post-It Notes to trigger my memory; the brighter they are the more effective at helping me to remember. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis all over that was caused by the chemo and neuropathy that affects my balance and gait.
I go back for regular check-ups, and while my breasts are dense with fibers, they are benign and I am cancer-free.
PA: It sounds like your diet and lifestyle were pretty good before; has anything changed?
RJ: I try not to do the SAD* diet and eat healthier. I am a compliant Diabetic, which means I don’t eat anything I want and I always question the sugar content. This world is not diabetic-friendly when it comes to food. An alcoholic does not have to drink alcohol, a shopaholic does not have to shop, but a diabetic has to eat!
PA: How has going through this whole process affected your outlook on life?
RJ: Phyllis, I do not have time to allow people who do not mean me well to rent space in my head! I am more direct with people and keep my life moving in the direction that works for me! My godmother, Peggy Jefferies, taught me to simply say to those that are not there for my greater good, “This situation may be working for you, but it’s not working for me!” Neither will I not allow anyone’s lack of planning to become my emergency.
PA: Do you have a message for women about breast cancer?
RJ: I stayed on top of my breast health! I had my mammogram and was diagnosed 8 months afterwards; I found my lump through a self-breast exam. I exercised and ate right for the most part. What I didn’t do was eliminate the stress from trying to maintain a relationship that was DOA (dead on arrival) years before.
Ladies, please take care of yourself holistically; mind, body and spirit! Do not do for others what you won’t do for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be on the backburner of life because you are life and you have to live so you can continue to allow God’s light to shine though you. Every time you leave home you are in the mission field. How are you going to fight against all that will come to you if you are weak in your body-temple? The world preys on the weak and honey, that’s not sexy!
PA: Thank you, Raej, for sharing your time, heart and words of wisdom. It’s been an honor!
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