Read Elements For A Healthier Life Magazine Issue 09 | January 2017 - Page 23

have caused the horrible situations in their lives.”

“In the book I talk about this. We bring certain players into our movie and when their part is over, it's okay to let them go. They are going off to be in another person's movie. You'll have many people come in and rehearse for the new parts in yours. I like to tell people that 'you created this'. How do you want to fix this? What conscious choices are you making? Are they in the highest and greatest good or are they created out of fear? And no matter how hard it is, to come from a place of love versus fear, it is better to move forward and say, 'Hey, I made a mistake. I'm sorry.' or ‘This relationship isn't for me', 'I now see what I've mirrored for myself, I've learned what I've dealt with in this relationship and I have learned new things that I do want in a relationship according to how I'm feeling here.' I bring them back to self; back to their inner workings and how they possibly manifested this out by what they consciously chose to do and the actions they chose to live by.”

“We have to trust where we are, and why we're there,” Debra shared as we spoke about what it was like to lose her loved ones, which ended up being one person a year for four years. Writing helped her transform her pain of loss to a place where she found the courage to help people with her story and provided a platform to share her beliefs on how the soul-contracts we have before we come into this life is very powerful. She believes in reincarnation, and takes comfort in knowing when someone dies, their soul takes them to their next destination. It helps her to know her loved ones are okay. “If they weren’t here, it’s because their soul took them where they needed to be.” She focused on caring for herself, and honoring their lives in a spirit of love. “I didn’t go into the ‘poor me’; I went into an ‘I’m going to honor them by being happy’. That’s what they would want for me.”

Grief is a unique process. It takes time. The process is different for each person. “What you have to be aware of is when grief becomes your identity, and you end up playing the victim. If this grief is your identity, then you’re playing the victim. You have to create the life you want. A lot of people are controlled by their grief, and they let it take them hostage.”

“I don't know who said this. They say deep loss is like a burn. You will grow new skin. You'll feel the pain, but as the new skin