Re: Winter 2013/14 - Page 23

to deal with it all. There will be lots of pain and grieving and it’s easy to point the finger but there is never a winner so why make it harder for your former partner and yourself? Of course your natural reaction might be to make it harder for them if they are the perpetrator but all that will do is make it more painful and prolong everything. Keeping your dignity helps to stop the rumours and whispers. People will see that you have self-respect and that you Maintaining your dignity is the best way to deal with it all are in control. Of course you want to scream out loud and it might make you feel better at the time but stay calm and move on to the next stage. by your partner, surely you don’t want your children’s love to change towards them – or to make them feel like they need to take sides. Bewildered and not knowing where to turn is hard so having a good solicitor who can help you through the legal side of things as well as lending a sympathetic ear is imperative. When children are older and dignity has remained they will love you for it there and then. When they are younger, we have to protect them and from harm and the hurt life can bring. It’s not always easy being a parent – children can hurt you, it’s what they do sometimes but it shouldn’t be the other way round. Keeping your dignity will help with sorting things out more quickly. Trying to keep communication open with your former partner will also hopefully keep the cost of the divorce down. It does not really matter what you may want your partner to have or not have – they will get what they’re entitled to, so without being a pushover, try and come to some helpful agreement. It’s always easier for the other side to say yes when you’re being helpful and not shouting the odds. If there are any children involved it’s even more important to keep your 6V