Re: Winter 2013/14 - Page 22

Dignity & Divorce Divorce, it’s the word you hope will never mean anything to you. After all, why should it? You’ve fallen in love and want to be with your partner for the rest of your life…the dream wedding where friends and relatives gather, maybe church bells are ringing and champagne is flowing – husband and wife at the start of a wonderful future together, which is how it stays for many couples. The excitement perhaps of buying a home and filling it with children, then the years pass by and all of a sudden and all seems well until out of the blue, one of you decides you have had enough and it’s not the life you want anymore. Or, it could be that one of you meets someone else and of course, you don’t mean to happen – you’re not even looking, why would you – but these things happen. Perhaps you have grown apart and your partner wants to move on – whatever the reason, it’s going to happen and there is nothing much you can do about it. How can two once inseparable people come to this? 20 The anger and resentment can then start and your mind starts working overtime and you might begin to wonder what you do did wrong. So, you feel you did nothing wrong and you’re feeling your partner got off lightly and before you know it, the love for your partner turns to hate and that’s when everything can turn nasty. So, what is the best way to sort it? First and foremost you want to keep the children happy and protect them from all the personal disagreements you are bound to have. After all, it is not their fault and just because you don’t love each other any more you must make sure that the children know that your love for them has not changed. Obviously, you will try and make sure you keep them away from it all and tell them that everything is all right but, for a while at least, their lives will change as well as your own. Age is irrelevant, the children will suffer to some degree and so will you. Don’t think your partner will get away with the awful hurt that comes with it all because they won’t. Friends and family will be divided and they will take their sides and all sit back and watch it unwind. Maintaining your dignity is the best way