Single
As a solicitor in the family law team, I was delighted to be part of an event set up to help, inspire and empower single mums going through separation.
Being down to earth, empathic and committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes, I promote solutions that consider the needs of the whole family – with a particular focus on ensuring the best interests of the children are met. At the event, I joined forces with life coach Vivienne Smith and independent financial adviser, Claire Walsh.
survival guide
Vivienne who is also a writer, trainer, presenter, transformation coach and certified NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and hypnosis coach and Claire who works at Pavilion Financial Services were the guest speakers at the event. Vivienne, who was once upon a time perfectly happy, had her world come crashing down when she suddenly found herself as a single mum of two small children. She talked about her experiences and how she discovered how to release the traumatic experiences and emotions that were holding her back, to find more fun, fulfilment and balance in her life. Vivienne’s experience as a single mum prompted her to write a book about the subject: “The Single Mum’s Survival Guide – How to pick up the pieces and build a happy new life”, has been accepted by New York publishers Morgan James and is due out later this year. A key area of concern raised by the mums was how to tell the children about separation. The common mistakes that Vivienne identified and that should be avoided were: • asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault • forgetting to emphasize that Mum and Dad will still always be their Mum and Dad • confiding adult details to children in order to attract their allegiance or sympathy • neglecting to repeatedly remind children that they are safe, innocent and very much loved • failing to explain clearly that everything is going to be okay
mums’
Vivienne showed how NLP can be used to help you stay cool, calm and collected in the midst of difficult and stressful situations and demonstrated the benefits of a strategy scramble and resource anchors. After dealing with some of the emotional issues surrounding separation, the event went on to address financial concerns. Claire, who works with clients to help them identify their financial objectives and advise them on the best way to achieve these, talked about how to adjust to a new financial situation and the importance of budgeting.
Some of Claire’s top tips included:
Check your budget using a budget planner such as the one available on www.moneyadviceservice.org. uk website. Claire also explained how at Pavilion Financial Services she uses specialist software to help clients forecast and plan financially for the future To avoid getting into debt try and have some emergency funds available, ideally enough to cover 3-6 months worth of basic living expenses
Don’t forget to think about your long term financial needs in particular pension funds The event finished off with drinks and nibbles and a chance for everyone to chat and share their experiences. We will be hosting an event aimed at single dads. If you are a single dad, or know any, that would be interested in attending or contributing to the event please contact me: ghope@mayo w???V&?FW"?6??V?'?vV????P??S???