Raise Vegan September 2018 Raise Vegan (2) - Page 41

Final Advice For Parents Facing These Situations There are “bad things” that are a reality in this community and some LGBTQ+ people are forced to confront them. There are ways people manage the pain that is inflicted upon them by the world. Drugs, alcohol, cutting, or es- capist high-risk activities are a very real concern. They are scary to contemplate, but in the end, everything still comes down to you and your child. Michelangelo once said, “The sculpture is already com- plete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.” It is like that with people, and you could say that who we are has always been there, just waiting to be set free and discovered. Whether our kids are LGBTQ+ or not, this is the jour- ney we are on with them - to help them along the path to discover who they are and help them to achieve their best potential. We can listen to them and help them to see they are beau- tiful just as they are. We can accept them for who they are, and try to shelter them from those who would try to shape them into anyone other than themselves. We can help them as they shed their “superfluous” outer shell and reveal who they really are inside. “Most research has been focused on the aftereffects, she adds, ‘the increase in depression or suicide after reparative therapy.’ Parents seek this help for their children out of love, not malice. ‘But when Mom and Dad say, ‘This is what’s going to help,’ a teenager feels betrayed, not protected—because it doesn’t feel like love.’” -Katie Heiden-Rootes, assistant professor in the medical family therapy program at Saint Louis University Resources For Parents Books The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Fami- lies and Professionals by Stephanie A. Brill and Rachel Pepper Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life Paperback by Dannielle Owens-Reid Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Under- standing Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans- gendered, or Questioning Son or Daughter by Kevin Jennings (NOTE: Transgender, not Transgendered. One is a Noun and one is a verb/action. Transgen- der people exist. There is no action needed to make them exist and no choice to initiate an action to exist.) Websites www.PFLAG.ORG https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-con- tent/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Re- port-Final.pdf https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC5905855/ Meanings LGBTQQIP2SAA+ = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Pansexual, Two-Spirit, Agender, Asexual Podcast Gender Rebels postc ast Facebook Non-Binary Gender Pride Article Notes: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/24/opinion/gay-con- version-therapy-torture.html https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-involved/ trevor-advocacy/conversion-therapy-action-cen- ter/#sm.00001ktu0yho7cvvtok2k6tudrmxd PDF Download https://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/therapeutic-re- sponse.pdf https://www.stlmag.com/news/the-cure-conver- sion-therapy/ The big definitions: You may see some phrases such as AMAB, DMAB, AFAB, DFAB. These stand for Assigned Male at Birth, Designated Male at Birth, etc. They recognize that one of the two binary sexes is typically established for a person based on a cursory and unscientific judgement of a physician. Intersex people have sex characteristics of both sexes and there is “length” test given to the penile appendage. If it exceeds a certain length, the person used to be designated male. Shorter, then they were designated female. Doctors used to mutliate/cos- metically modify a person to meet the category they chose for the person. This forced selection of gender results in problems later in life for many Intersex people. Sex and Gender are not the same thing. Cisgender - someone that identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. (contrary to what some have said, this is not derogatory. Cis is a Latin word meaning “On this side of ”, or “Same”. Trans is a latin word meaning “on the other side of ” or “Opposite”. Cisgender basically means a person is not Transgender.) Cis/Het - someone that is both Cisgender and Heterosexual. Transgender - someone that does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Binary Transgender - someone that identifies as the gender opposite the one they were assigned at birth Non-Binary - someone that does not fully identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. This generally includes people that are Genderfluid, Trans-feminine, Trans-mascu- line, Agender, Pangender, Genderqueer and others. RAISEVEGAN.COM Raise Vegan 41