“In fact, the science can be distilled down
into a simple mantra: the more you don’t
want anxiety, the more you’ve got it.”
— JoHN P. forsytH, Phd.
Pulse: Why did you decide to compile your advice
into Anxiety Happens?
Forsyth & Eifert: We know that anxiety happens to
everyone, and many people suffer needlessly because of it. Our
intention was to put together a small book, packed with the
very best tools and strategies we know of, to help people find a
way to live wholeheartedly even when they experience anxiety,
fear, stress and the countless other unpleasant emotions that life
offers. We also wanted to write a book that releases the readers
from their constant struggle with anxiety and encourages them
to take a very different, more gentle path.
P: How do you hope readers use this book?
F & E: The book is set up with 52 bite-sized chapters that
take just a few minutes to read. Each chapter also contains
important teachings and brief exercises that people can put
into practice right away. The central ideas and teachings in
Anxiety Happens are meant to be put into practice in daily
life. So, we encourage readers to read the book, practice the
exercises in their daily lives, and then check in to see what
works for them. Here, the practice is key. Readers may find
that certain chapters resonate more with them and produce
better results in their lives than others. In that case, it is quite
okay to focus on those.
P: Why do you think anxiety is so prevalent today?
F & E: Many people see anxiety as the enemy or, minimally,
as an unwelcome houseguest. In the west, this is supported
by cultural messages basically saying anxiety isn’t normal; to
be normal means to be happy and calm. The culture
constantly feeds us the message that anxiety and other
unpleasant emotions are the enemy—they must be coped
with to be happy. This sets people up to literally be at war
with their thoughts and emotional life. We know from the
science that this doesn’t work long-term. In fact, the science
can be distilled down into a simple mantra: the more you
don’t want anxiety, the more you’ve got it!
Technology also likely plays a role too. People are plugged
in constantly. With our devices, we are continuously
bombarded with negative news wherever we go. All of this, in
turn, can pull for our limited attention and resources, and
quite literally pull all of us out of our lives away from the here
and now. This is a great loss because it is in the present
moment where we find our true selves.
P: Why do you think it is so hard for people to deal
with their daily anxieties?
F & E: The word “deal” or even “cope” here is key. Many
people are constantly struggling with their anxious thoughts
and feelings—they are in a tug of war with themselves. It’s
as if they must conquer anxiety before they can do what
matters to them. As a result, many people find themselves
waiting, just waiting, on the sidelines for a very long time—
waiting for their lives to begin.
Nobody chooses anxiety. It just happens. What is needed
is a radical shift in perspective. Instead of fighting with
anxiety, people can learn to let go of their struggle, let anxiety
be—and just be with it. Here, we’re not asking people to like
feeling anxious or afraid. Nobody that we know likes anxiety.
But must anxiety really be our enemy? So many people are so
hard on themselves when their anxious thoughts and feelings
arise, which only makes things worse. Instead of reacting to
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