Fear Michelle Poitier Jacksonville , Florida February 2016
F . E . A . R . has two meanings I . Forget Evervthing And Run or
Face Evervthing And Rise . \
1k ck \ e,e., \ � f� .
One of my greatest fears , which I have been working consistently on and have recently conquered , was allowing myself to be vulnerable and be my authentic self in relationships . The unspoken elements that are essential in any relationship personal , professional or otherwise are trust and communication . There can be no LASTING relationship without them .
With that being said , there are two other elements that I will touch on that I believe are also necessary for women to feel safe enough in the relationships in their lives to be physically , emotionally and mentally vulnerable . Those elements are security and consistency . When I talk about security I mean in every sense ; physical , emotional , financial .
When a woman ' s sense of trust , communication , security and consistency have been breached ; it opens the door to fear - fear of trusting , fear of communicating , fear that the sense of security breached will never be restored , fear
1 that a sense of stability / consistency will be not re-established . Due to those fears walls are erected as a form of protection . Doing this will stifle the essence of who you are as a person - your personality , your creativity , your spontaneity , your joy , your peace - all of these things will be affected .
Unless those fears are addressed , you will find yourself forever running from situations that seem similar to the original situation that caused you to erect the walls . You will find yourself subconsciously sabotaging relationships , because in your mind you want to be the one in control causing the damage rather than risk being on the receiving end again .
You may find that your perspective or outlook on life is skewed . Where once you walked in confidence , you may now suffer bouts of doubt , continually second guessing your every decision .
SIGNS OF BREAKDOWN
COMMUNICATION
How often do you feel that there are things going unsaid in your relationships ? How often do you feel that you aren ' t able to share your opinions or thoughts fearing it will cause contention or that your thoughts / opinions won ' t be validated or acknowledged ? How often do you assume you know the response will be negative ?
TRUST
Are you able to rely on the fact that what you share or confide will remain between you and the individual you shared your thoughts or information with ? Do the actions of the individuals you interact with align with their words / promises ?
SECURITY
Do you feel you are free to show the good , the bad , and the ugly aspects of yourself without fearing it will end the relationship ? Do you feel you are able to make mistakes or fail without fear of being rejected or abandoned ?
CONSISTENCY
Do you feel that you aren ' t able to rely on an individual to follow through when you need their input or assistance ? Have you become discouraged or ambivalent due to broken promises or sporadic follow-thru with commitments ?
These are signs that things need to be addressed . You cannot change what you won ' t confront or address . Are you prepared to handle the outcome when you do ; whether the outcome is favorable or unfavorable for you ? You are the only one that can determine when you are ready to move forward . Are you ready to face your fears ?