life skills relationships
Social Media and Dating
By Cortlin Chavis
Once upon a time , people only met each other in real life . The way to talk to someone was to actually see them ! Now , however , you know whose pictures your boyfriend / girlfriend has liked , you see exactly where they are on Snapchat , and you read all of their subtweets to figure out what they ’ re thinking — all before getting out of bed in the morning .
With the ability to be in constant communication and have access to this overload of information , social media can cause problems . The good news is there are some benefits , you just have to know how to use it to your advantage . Different phases of a relationship call for different uses of social media .
Before you know each other
Congratulations , you don ’ t have to worry about not meeting your soulmate due to distance ! If there ’ s a guy or a girl you ’ ve heard of but rarely see , you can follow them on social media , and now all of the sudden they ’ ve heard your name too . My mom likes to go through the people who like my pictures , then come to me all excited and say , “ I just couldn ’ t help but notice so-and-so liked your picture ,” as if it means we ’ re dating now ( it doesn ’ t , Mom ).
Sliding into the DMs /“ talking ”
Getting to know each other on social media is very different than real life . It can keep it low key , because while going on dates seems to make you automatically dating nowadays , a 100 day Snapchat streak remains in the realm of friendship . And whenever they do send you something , it gives you time to think before you have to answer . Some people say this is a negative and that our generation can ’ t communicate in real life , but if you go on a date with someone you ’ ve talked to mostly on social media , you ’ ll be able to tell then if real conversation is going to work or not .
Actually dating , yay ! Once you ' re dating , you ’ re probably following each other on all forms of social media . It can burn couples out , but there are ways it helps too . One of my friends and her boyfriend decided to Snapchat throughout the day instead of trying to text 24 / 7 and running out of things to say . It was just random pictures of what they were doing , but it was a nice way to say , “ I ’ m thinking of you .”
Are they cheating ?
Uh-oh , Johnny has been DMing Sarah but his girlfriend is Natalie ! The problem with social media and cheating is sometimes they aren ’ t actually cheating . Sometimes a girl gets mad because her boyfriend liked another girl ’ s bikini picture , or a guy gets mad because his girlfriend keeps retweeting some guy ’ s funny tweets . It ’ s just a picture and a tweet , but people get upset because it ’ s right there to get upset over . This is where communication comes in ; you talk about your fears and make sure you ’ re not overreacting . However , if there is something going on , social media ’ s probably going to expose it . People think once it ’ s sent it will either disappear or be deleted , but what if the receiver screenshots it ? Proving what someone did just got easier .
Breaking up … sorry !
Usually when a couple breaks up they don ’ t want to see each other right away . Social media keeps them in touch , but there is a solution . It ’ s these two nice features called “ Unfollow ” and “ Block .” You don ’ t have to see them if you don ’ t want to ! Just follow your other very best 800 friends and call it a night .
Cortlin is a high school senior in Auburn , Alabama . She is currently learning about the next steps in her education : taking exams , getting a summer job , preparing for college , selecting a major , and so on . She hopes any knowledge she gains in these areas can be transferred into advice for readers , and hopes her perspective can offer a little insight !
20 | Winter 2017 www . potentialmagazine . com