life skills
marriage material
Finding the
Perfect Mate
Choosing a partner for life is one of the most
important decisions any of us ever make.
Have you given your teen the knowledge they
need to find the right spouse?
As your teens prepare to leave the nest, do you wonder if you’ve
prepared them to handle the trials and decisions of life? We
want them to be considerate roommates but I wonder, have we
prepared them to find the girl of their dreams or the prince of
their heart?
Where do you go after college? City mouse and
country mouse may love each other, but in the end, it’s hard for
either one to make major changes to who they are and what
they want and still be happy. That’s why it’s a good idea to really
get to know a person’s goals and dreams before you fall too far
in love.
Before you get into a relationship, list all the traits you would
like to see in a husband or wife so you can be on the lookout!
Opposites may attract, but complements fit together better.
So, appreciating the wise counsel of many, I started asking for
advice to give teens. Here are some great words to consider:
Don’t expect the significant other to “complete”
you. You will be like two trees planted in the same hole; one
doesn’t steal nutrients from the other or they choke the other
out; instead they meld together and become a sturdy, strong
trunk that supports the other in a storm, sharing the space and
reaching out into more territory together.
Don’t expect to turn a maple into a birch.
Stay away from a “prince” or “princess” – Unless you have a lot
of income and a lot of patience.
Focus on the other person (and look for someone willing to focus on you too!). College is naturally
a time that puts a focus on you, your career and your growth. A
successful marriage has to be focused more on the other person
and not on yourself (yeah, that’s a daily battle!).
THERE’S PLENTY OF TIME
USA Today shared a 2013 study using Facebook data showing that only 28 percent of
married college graduates attended the same college as their spouse. So while the
perception may be that most students meet and date their future spouse while still in
college, that’s not necessarily true today.
Bottom line: If you’re nearing graduation, don’t rush into the wrong relationship just
because you feel pressured by time to meet your mate.
L12 |
Winter 2015
By Pam Mashburn
www.potentialmagazine.com