life skills love languages
Speaking Your Teen ’ s Love Language
Often times we love people but it ’ s not received or appreciated . “ The Five Love Languages ” by Gary Chapman reveals how this can happen and the ways we can communicate value , encouragement and love to others . We ’ ve broken it down so you can start reaching your teen and others .
XO
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Words of Affirmation
Literally giving praise or even telling others in front of them specific things they are good at and why you value them .
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Giving Gifts
Wrapping a note on one of their favorite candy bars or other small tokens of appreciation .
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Quality Time
Spending time with the person working on a project ( changing a tire , homework , etc .) or just taking time to grab a quick lunch .
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Acts of Service
Washing their car , making dinner or doing an errand for them .
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Physical Touch
Giving them a hug or a pat on the back — everyone loves a quick back scratch .
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A Bad Translation
According to Chapman , different people feel loved in different ways . Not understanding the different love languages can result in a lot of frustration . If your love language is Acts of Service , you probably tend to show others that you love them by working yourself to death doing things for them . However , if your daughter ’ s love language is Quality Time , she won ’ t feel loved by all the projects ; she ’ ll just wonder why you work all the time and don ’ t have time to talk to her . You may verbally praise someone if words of affirmation are your love language , but if that isn ’ t theirs they may still not feel valued by your compliments . The key is knowing how to speak their specific “ love language .”
How Do You Love ?
So how do you find out how to make a family member or friend feel valued or encouraged ?
The best way to determine someone ’ s love language is to ask them questions like , “ What makes you feel that someone loves you ?
How do they show it ?” You can often tell by looking at the way they show others love . It ’ s a natural inclination to try to show love to others in the way that you receive and feel loved .
Learning to recognize how to show others you love and value them and sharing this knowledge with your teen will strengthen your parent-child relationship and will even lead to more successful relationships with other family members , neighbors , friends and co-workers .
Life is all about relationships , and teaching your child how to make and keep successful relationships ( whether it be with family , friends , teachers , co-workers or future in-laws ) is one of the most important lessons that can be taught .
Need more help finding your love language ? Visit www . 5lovelanguages . com .
10 | Summer 2017 www . potentialmagazine . com