SAY IT WITH ME: “NO.”
With the beginning of a new school year come the many
opportunities for parents to get involved with countless actives and
events. Whether it’s participating in PTA, joining the booster club,
helping with class parties, painting sets for the play or organizing a
bake sale, it’s easy to get over-committed, especially if you always
say, “Sure. I’ll do it.” While helping your child’s school is laudable
and a great way to stay connected with your student, if you’re doing
too much, you’re probably not doing everything you need or want
to do at home. And if you’re known as a “yes” mom, folks looking
for volunteers will never stop coming to you. How do you stop the
madness? Just say no. It sounds simple, but for some, it’s really hard.
If this sounds familiar, read on to learn how to gracefully decline.
Why You Don’t Say No
“A ‘N
the d o’ uttere
d
is be eepest c from
onvi
tter
mer
than
ction
e
a
plea ly uttere ‘Yes’
s
d
to av e, or wo to
r
o
-Ma id troub se,
hatm
le.”
a Ga
ndh
i
How to Say No
• ou don’t want to be rude. But saying “no” up front isn’t rude.
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If you don’t truly have the time or energy to do whatever’s
being asked of you, you’re doing the requestor a favor by
letting them find someone else better prepared to do the task.
• ou sincerely want to help. That’s great. But are you already
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helping out in other ways? If so, and if this new request is
more important to you, consider dropping one of your other
obligations (after you’ve done what you promise of course!).
• ou always overestimate what you can handle. It’s time to get
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real and take an honest look at what you really can do in a set
amount of time. You are not superwoman, and that’s okay. And
here’s a secret: Nobody is.
Why You Should Say No
• rying to do everything actually keeps other people from
T
having the opportunity to contribute.
• oing too much means less time to devote to your most
D
important relationships, including the one with your spouse.
It’s key to keep up with your kids, but don’t forget your
husband or wife.
• preading yourself thin can have a detrimental effect on your
S
family; the added stress means even when you do find time to
spend with them, you’re not at your best.
• o be respectful and hear the entire request before you
D
respond.
• on’t beat round the bush. Say “no” clearly and confidently
D
right up front. Don’t wimp out with phrases like “I’m not sure.”
It will only encourage the requestor to keep asking.
• on’t follow your “no” with a long list of excuses. They’re not
D
necessary and only prolong the conversation, adding to the
probability that you’ll get talked into saying yes.
• o thank the requestor for asking and tell them to feel free to
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ask again another time.
to
u sa y y e s
“W h en y o
u
e sur e y o
ak
o t h e r s, m
r
n o to y ou
ying
r e n o t sa
a
–
y o u r s e l f.”
fam i ly or
www.potentialmagazine.com
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