Popular Culture Review Vol. 2, No. 2, July 1991 | Page 21

Macho Man Meets the Million Dollar Man

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those Australian swamprats in camouflage pants and army boots who
have a habit of licking each other on the face, have this encounter
with the Announcer Mean Gene. Butch and Luther each lick Mean
Gene on the face. Gene's response? "Not on the lips, fellas, I might
get emotionally involved."
Some of the signs of race and class in wrestling almost attain
the clarity of wrestling's physical gestures. For wrestling is much
clearer about which race and class wins, and should win, than it is
about the importance of masculinity. Hulk Hogan and Ted Debiassi's
match provides a typical example of wrestling's mythology of race
and class. Ted Debiassi, the Million Dollar Man, is cast in a
composite role of High Roller/Business Tycoon/Slave Owner for this
match. Debiassi wears a shiny black tux with glittering gold lapels
and gold usher stripes with a large gold dollar sign on the back, small
black dollar signs on the lapels, a gold lame handkerchief, diamond
studs and a gold cumberbund. The Million Dollar Man has purchased
an "insurance policy" for this match: his slave, Zeus, the Human
Wrecking Machine, a large black man who grunts and flexes while
Debiassi speaks, and who is only ever allowed to shout out one
sentence-after the match. As Debiassi says, interspersed with evil
laughter, "I buy only the best—the purest gold, the clearest diamonds,
and Zeus...Money will talk, and Hogan will walk, if he's able...I
know the price of success and I'll pay it...I have the resources to get
the job done." All the promotion and aftermath for this event are
phrased in business terms. For instance, announcer Jessie Ventura’s
forecast for the match is ”1 predict that tonight Hogan will take the
biggest beating since Donald Trump whomped Merv Griffin in
Atlantic City." Hogan’s boast before the event extends the business
terminology even further than the Million Dollar Man's boast did: "I
plan to use the Hulkamania system of checks and balances, brother.
Not only will I balance out, I'll carry the load all the way to the
bank and we'll cash in. Zeus has gotta be your biggest investment and
your greatest find, man. The thing is, to be the player of this game,
brother, ya gotta be a majority stockholder. And to get the majority
stockholder position, you gotta beat me, brother. But you can't do it,
because I've invested all my assets wisely, dude. I’ve invested in the
future of all those little hulkamaniacs. And with the big bankteller
in the sky on my side, Mean Gene, not only will I bankrupt the Million