B i g L o v e : Rewriting the Modern Man
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breadwinner, the man is expected to maintain a level of control over his family,
just as he hypothetically does over his money. Male hegemony has led to the
stereotype that the family unit is led by the man: he makes the decisions, he
controls the purse strings, and he has the final word concerning the actions of his
children. It is, however, necessary to acknowledge the hierarchy of authority that
reigns in the polygamous union, because the power structure of plural marriage
allows the first wife the most power and each subsequent wife markedly less. In
actuality, this system deprives the husband of a certain level of authority, as he
is not only outnumbered but also stripped of certain rights, and also creates
tension between the wives with respect to their own identity. By examining the
roles of Bill’s three wives individually, and the reaction of the children to his
authority, Bill’s failure to live up to the masculine ideal of authority figure
becomes evident.
Barb, Bill’s first wife, is the most powerful woman in the household,
because she has the authority to both question her husband’s decisions and to
make decisions concerning the other wives. She is presumably the gatekeeper of
all family behavior, including that of the members of all three houses, not just
her own; coincidentally, Barb seemingly fulfills the most masculine role of the
three women. She determines the schedules and distributes the monthly stipends
to the other two wives. She also works outside the home and brings in additional
money for the family. On a biological level though, there is a far more
interesting aspect to Barb’s identity. Having had a hysterectomy due to a bout of
cancer, Barb can no longer have children, and being deprived of this womanly
right, her femininity has been diminished. Assuming masculine traits, even by
default, Barb therefore succeeds in entrenching her prime position above the
other wives in the family hierarchy. Consequently, this female masculinization
elevates Barb to a position equal to that of Bill in the household and raises
questions concerning authority. The deferral of authority from Bill to Barb leads
the other members of the household to question who is actually the
authoritarian, and thus this process further detracts from and destabilizes Bill’s
own masculinity.
Nicki, the second wife (aspiring to be the first), demonstrates her desire to
take Barb’s place by enacting what would be considered typically masculine
behaviors in the three households. She is described by other characters as not
being “warm,” she takes a defensive role against outsiders, and acts as the
family repairman. The other women’s dependence on her for her mechanical
skills gives her more power than she would have otherwise in a system that
allows power to only one wife. She also questions Barb’s authority at every
opportunity but is never able to sway the power structure away from the first
wife on any meaningful level despite her almost constant attempts. The power
struggle is a way for Nicki to inflict her masculinity on the family unit and
differs from Barb’s behavior in its facultative nature. While Barb submits to the
duties established by an exterior system, Nicki chooses to enact masculine