PMAG 15 Compassion Parvati Magazine - February 2015: Compassion | Page 14

WELLNESS SELF CARE AT VALENTINES TIME F or many people, the 3-month period of December through February can be a difficult time of the year, especially for those whose significant relationships are problematic. THE TRILOGY First comes Christmas with all its potential addictive pitfalls. Compulsive shoppers spend far over their budgets, people-pleasers agonize over the right gifts to get so that everyone will be happy with them, gamblers worry about that elusive big win. Food addictions run rampant. People with substance abuse issues try to hide from it all by getting high or drunk. Just one week later, we have New Year’s Eve - a particularly difficult time for people who are not in a satisfying personal relationship or who may be in recovery from drug and alcohol abuse. And now we come to Valentine’s Day, which suggests that we are all supposed to be wildly in love with a “perfect” person who will shower us with love. I have witnessed, both personally and professionally, the misery caused by unrealistic expectations. When we are encouraged to be anything but our authentic selves, when we mistakenly set the bar too high for our actual, real lives, disappointment and unhappiness generally follow.