Playtimes HK Magazine June 2017 Issue | Page 49

Network – a citywide community made up of like-minded men and women who share a vision to build healthier fathers, healthier households and a stronger society from generation to generation. Enlightened companies As corporates understand the implications of work-life balance on productivity, engagement, and employee retention, some have implemented measures such as flexible and agile working, employee- assistance hotlines, and recreational sports and activities for employees to participate in. Some companies are also making great strides toward work-life balance by adopting family-friendly measures that include extending paternity leave beyond the statutory minimum three days, adoption leave, parental leave where both parents can ‘share’ up to one year of leave after they have a child, and support for domestic partners – co-habitant partners including same-sex partners, says Fern. Be present The onus doesn’t lie solely on the shoulders of corporations to create a healthy work-life culture. Closer to home, working dads – be they employees, business owners, working- from-home dads, or freelancers – can take measures to address their work-life balance. Benita Perch, Naturopathic Physician at Integrated Medical Institute (IMI), reminds fathers to be present wherever they are. “If you’re at work, be at work. If you’re at home, be at home and with your children. This helps because the minute everything bleeds into everything else you never get any balance in any way,” she explains. “All the research on neuroscience shows that multi-tasking doesn’t work, and therefore focusing on the moment – whether it’s conversation with your spouse, listening to your child read to you, or just walking in the park with the family – is more important than spending all the time without the ‘quality’,” adds Ronald, who despairs when he goes to restaurants and sees families huddled over their mobile devices instead of having dialogue. Renowned wedding photographer Kenneth Lim says his challenges are always limited time and energy. “Being present and actively involved is the best way that I can instill values and educate my kids in a way that their school might not. I have now eliminated “time wasters” like social media from my day-to-day and I started Crossfit last year for conditioning,” he comments. As he strives to strike a balance between work and family – which he realises is a ‘moving target’ – Kenneth experiences weekly bouts of daddy guilt, exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed. Preventing daddy burnout For Michael, exhaustion can often lead to frustration. “I don’t have the option of switching off in the evenings or on the weekends. I want to do things with my kids but I’m usually so tired I become irritable and snappy. I then feel I’ve let my family down,” he says. “If you come home tired and mentally depleted, eat and drink mindlessly, go to bed late and irritated and wake up and do the same thing over again, there is a cumulative impact on your physical and mental health,” Ronald explains. Living the kind of lives that many working dads have in Hong Kong, they are setting themselves up for heart disease and cancer, warns Benita. Every day, she treats patients who are experiencing fatigue, anxiety, depression, and gut issues. Benita encourages patients to take measures to strengthen their bodies and their ability to cope with stress. She recommends multivitamins that have adequate Bs, Cs and Ds. She also suggests adrenal support – herbs that help the body adapt and cope with stress better. Sometimes you can’t change your circumstances so you have to shift your view of the circumstances, and in this way limit your stress,” she explains. She also advises patients to aim for eight hours sleep a night. This may be achieved by prioritising sleep over TV, screen time, and exercise at night, which all increase cortisol levels. Meditation can help dads de-stress before they settle for the night. During the day, exercise should be done in a Yin and Yang way. Currently, people are doing Yang exercise such as running and weightlifting but not enough Yin exercise such as yoga and stretching, Benita observes. Dads can also endeavour to eliminate sugar and refined whites from their diet, add protein to every meal, drink more water, and consume seven vegetables and two fruits a day. “Paradoxically, I think men should be a bit selfish. The old adage of putting on your own oxygen mask first applies here. Carve thirty minutes first thing in the morning for yourself. Meditate, stretch, do some yoga or go for a brisk walk. Eat healthily and talk to your family. This slowly forms a healthy mind-body balance. As the author Anne Dillard once said: “The way you spend your day is of course, how you live your life.” “No one at their death bed ever says that they wished they worked more, nor will they in future say they wished they had posted more on Facebook,” Ronald concludes. June 2017 47