Network – a citywide community made
up of like-minded men and women who
share a vision to build healthier fathers,
healthier households and a stronger
society from generation to generation.
Enlightened companies
As corporates understand the
implications of work-life balance
on productivity, engagement, and
employee retention, some have
implemented measures such as
flexible and agile working, employee-
assistance hotlines, and recreational
sports and activities for employees to
participate in.
Some companies are also making
great strides toward work-life balance
by adopting family-friendly measures
that include extending paternity leave
beyond the statutory minimum three
days, adoption leave, parental leave
where both parents can ‘share’ up to
one year of leave after they have a child,
and support for domestic partners
– co-habitant partners including
same-sex partners, says Fern.
Be present
The onus doesn’t lie solely on the
shoulders of corporations to create
a healthy work-life culture. Closer
to home, working dads – be they
employees, business owners, working-
from-home dads, or freelancers –
can take measures to address their
work-life balance.
Benita Perch, Naturopathic
Physician at Integrated Medical
Institute (IMI), reminds fathers to be
present wherever they are. “If you’re
at work, be at work. If you’re at home,
be at home and with your children.
This helps because the minute
everything bleeds into everything else
you never get any balance in any way,”
she explains.
“All the research on neuroscience
shows that multi-tasking doesn’t
work, and therefore focusing on the
moment – whether it’s conversation
with your spouse, listening to your child
read to you, or just walking in the park
with the family – is more important
than spending all the time without the
‘quality’,” adds Ronald, who despairs
when he goes to restaurants and sees
families huddled over their mobile
devices instead of having dialogue.
Renowned wedding photographer
Kenneth Lim says his challenges are
always limited time and energy. “Being
present and actively involved is the
best way that I can instill values and
educate my kids in a way that their
school might not. I have now eliminated
“time wasters” like social media from
my day-to-day and I started Crossfit last
year for conditioning,” he comments. As
he strives to strike a balance between
work and family – which he realises is a
‘moving target’ – Kenneth experiences
weekly bouts of daddy guilt, exhaustion
and feeling overwhelmed.
Preventing daddy burnout
For Michael, exhaustion can often lead
to frustration. “I don’t have the option
of switching off in the evenings or on
the weekends. I want to do things
with my kids but I’m usually so tired
I become irritable and snappy. I then
feel I’ve let my family down,” he says.
“If you come home tired and
mentally depleted, eat and drink
mindlessly, go to bed late and irritated
and wake up and do the same thing
over again, there is a cumulative
impact on your physical and mental
health,” Ronald explains.
Living the kind of lives that many
working dads have in Hong Kong, they
are setting themselves up for heart
disease and cancer, warns Benita.
Every day, she treats patients who
are experiencing fatigue, anxiety,
depression, and gut issues.
Benita encourages patients to take
measures to strengthen their bodies
and their ability to cope with stress.
She recommends multivitamins that
have adequate Bs, Cs and Ds. She
also suggests adrenal support – herbs
that help the body adapt and cope
with stress better. Sometimes you
can’t change your circumstances
so you have to shift your view of the
circumstances, and in this way limit
your stress,” she explains.
She also advises patients to aim
for eight hours sleep a night. This
may be achieved by prioritising sleep
over TV, screen time, and exercise at
night, which all increase cortisol levels.
Meditation can help dads de-stress
before they settle for the night.
During the day, exercise should be
done in a Yin and Yang way. Currently,
people are doing Yang exercise such
as running and weightlifting but not
enough Yin exercise such as yoga and
stretching, Benita observes.
Dads can also endeavour to
eliminate sugar and refined whites from
their diet, add protein to every meal,
drink more water, and consume seven
vegetables and two fruits a day.
“Paradoxically, I think men should
be a bit selfish. The old adage of
putting on your own oxygen mask
first applies here. Carve thirty minutes
first thing in the morning for yourself.
Meditate, stretch, do some yoga or
go for a brisk walk. Eat healthily and
talk to your family. This slowly forms
a healthy mind-body balance. As the
author Anne Dillard once said: “The
way you spend your day is of course,
how you live your life.” “No one at
their death bed ever says that they
wished they worked more, nor will
they in future say they wished they had
posted more on Facebook,” Ronald
concludes.
June 2017
47