Pink Weddings Spring 2016 Pink Weddings Spring 2016 | Page 80

Ask FondA
Queen of cabaret and our
very own agony aunt,
Fonda Cox, solves your
wedding conundrums…
Ask
DEAR FONDA, my dog is my life
and I want him to be our best
man. My fiancé is hell-bent on
having our ceremony in a country
house that doesn’t allow dogs.
How can I change his mind?
You want the dog to be your best man? That’s
going to lead to one hell of a ruff speech
after dinner! I have a hard time accepting
dogs within a relationship, because my
ex had a chihuahua that used to show
me more affection
than he
ever did. My
advice would be
to ditch the dog as
they only ever cause arguments in a
household where one loves dogs more
than the other. But I know you’re not
going to go for that, so why don’t
you just get married outside the
country house where surely the
pooch is allowed to roam freely in
the grounds – and after the
ceremony you can leave him in the
car with his favourite blanket and a
window open a crack, while you and
the dog go for a lovely walk in the woods!
DEAR FONDA , we’re on the countdown to our
wedding and my fiancée is having regular spray
tans – she’s getting more orange every week.
How can I (tactfully) prevent her from turning
into David Dickinson before our big day?
Oh no, I know exactly the type you mean – the
only people that can eat an entire family bag of
Wotsits without appearing to stain their fingers. I
think you have no choice but to switch her shower
gel with Domestos. Sure, her hair may fall out but
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