Pink Weddings Magazine PinkWeddings AW2017_V2 - Page 12

Fay aND Michelle However painful or fearful it might be for you to make the decision to get married to the person you love, just always be true to yourself... for us the day was also about bringing our special people together to celebrate our relationship. We loved seeing it all come together and we reflected on it throughout our honeymoon in Portugal. It really was the best day of our lives. I t’s hard to pick out the high points as there were just so many – from walking into the ceremony room and seeing the splashes of orange and the flowers, special moments with the vows, the Bentley and the boat… the food, music, speeches… our wedding dance… it all came together beautifully. Our top planning tip is to stay organised. Keep a planning book and a spreadsheet and keep in touch with your wedding planner at the venue. Share your plans for the day with your bridal party well in advance – and let people help you. Last but not least, make sure you have some champagne and brandy in your bridal suite to get rid of any jitters – and when you’ve done all you can do, sit back and enjoy your day! 12 » pink weddings magazine W e had a fantastic day, but one of the main reasons we wanted to do this article was to highlight the pressures that are associated with being black and LGBT+. While our wedding was everything we could hope for and more, the only disappointment was that Fay’s family wasn’t a part of our coming together and partnership, and we had to plan our wedding accordingly. When Fay told her parents that she was a lesbian in 1999, it was to be kept a secret and not to be spoken about ever again – her mum didn’t even know what being lesbian was. So when she decided to tell her parents in 2015 that she was getting married to Michelle, the relationship with Fay’s family became very strained – even though they adored Michelle as a friend of the family, she shouldn’t be marrying their only daughter! With Fay’s mum being Jamaican and worshiping the Christian faith and her father Barbadian and brought up in a culture where they don’t talk about their feelings, particularly taboo subjects, it meant that it was a very straightforward (but difficult) decision for us to exclude Fay’s family from our wedding, to avoid provoking a situation or creating a divide. This was a risk we were not prepared to take, as we wanted to celebrate our special day without any unexpected surprises. So if we could offer one piece of advice, it would be that however painful or fearful it might be for you to make the decision to get married to the person you love, just always be true to yourself for everlasting happiness.