PICKLEBALL CURMUDGEON
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T
A
M
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THE UL ICKLEBALL
KIDS P
Scene on the Court:
Occasional
Observations
from a
Pickleball
Curmudgeon
BY CRAIG LAUGHLIN
‘ I’m just playing for fun ’
R
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onald Reagan once said, “The nine most
terrifying words in the English language are ‘I’m
from the government and I’m here to help.’”
The most terrifying words I hear on the pickleball
court are “I’m just playing for fun” (IJPFF),
which roughly translates to “Get ready to eat a
pickleball!” I often hear IJPFF after suggesting, as
diplomatically as possible, after my partner has set
our opponents up to cram the ball down my throat
for the fourth time, that he/she might want to try a
third shot drop.
I don’t get it, but sometimes these folks have no
interest in improving their game—which is obvious! I
often wish our opponents would cram the ball down
Mr. or Ms. IJPFF’s throat instead of mine. This way,
maybe his/her left cerebral cortex would do its job
and generate a rational thought, like, “Giving my
opponents an un-attackable ball is more fun than
setting them up to cram the ball down my throat!”
Another favorite trick of the IJPFF crowd is to insist
on standing in No Man’s Land, giving up wide angles
of open court for opponents to score free points. They
remind me of people who play 500 and never learn
to bid. My cousin always overbids his hand, while his
partners suffer along, trying to stay alive. They often
get set, but, hey, my cousin enjoys himself. Playing at
the kitchen line is like letting your partner have the
bid sometimes. It gives Mr. or Ms. IJPFF’s partners a
chance to have some fun, too.
I often tell less experienced partners I don’t care
if they miss a shot (seriously, I don’t), as long as they
are trying to improve. I honestly would rather they
miss a third shot drop than always having to play
dodgeball. Practicing the right shots will eventually
make them better players. Constantly setting the
opponents up for a kill won’t—and I still don’t get
how it can—be any “fun.” •