PERREAULT Magazine March 2014 - Page 77

I finally got through and told the level one technician that I needed to ascend to level two. He said that it appears my number is wrong. I asked him to call it, he did, and it worked just fine. He was perplexed, and said “I am sorry.” He promised level two technician will call right back. He didn’t. Is it a Mercury Retrograde? Or is it just good old normal Microsoft technical support?

A few hours later I called again and they ask me to wait for a few minutes as they connect me to level two. It was 3am Hong Kong time and I have to admit, I was already in bed. They play you this calming lullabying music as your wait on line and what can I say, I was tired so I fell asleep. Since all stories of creations tell the tale of how the One turned into Two, I guess I underestimated the hardship involving the transformation of the level 1 tech into level 2.

I woke up after an hour or so, still holding my cell hearing the same hypnotic music Microsoft uses as they transfer you from one call to the other. I quickly hung up, can’t believe this one hour sleep cost me over 180$.

In the morning I called Microsoft again and demanded I be reimbursed. In other words:

I wanted my money back. They said, “Wait, let us try to fix the problem.” OK…I answered skeptically. In the process of trying to exorcise the nasty ghost out of my computer, they created another user profile in my computer to see if the problem was resolved. It wasn’t.

They gave me the 90$ back (one good thing about Mercury Retro) but when I restarted my computer (not connected still) the new user profile booted itself and in an unprecedented digital mutiny took my main user profile hostage and sailed away! I was denied access to…me.

All my files and info trapped by the new account I have stupidly named…Mercury. My friend Rinat took pity on me (and my computer) and introduced me to the wonderful and helpful IT expert of Pure Gym who managed to seize the binary pirate in high-seas and get my profile back. But still, no internet. In fact, I am using the hotel’s computer in Singapore to write this email to you.

But all good, Mercury goes direct right on the new moon in Pisces, March 1st. The only problem is that is also the day Mars goes retrograde but on that I should write in the next newsletter.



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Perreault Magazine / March 2014 77