PERREAULT Magazine December 2014 | Page 67

Can I improve my Emotional Intelligence?

As with most things in life, EI skills can be acquired over time, like being a better manager or spouse. All the tools you need are within your reach. EI is not an easy concept to grasp and it can’t be learned overnight by just reading an article. A lot of time and dedication is required to perfect these skills.

I believe the first step is to take control of your actions and to take your time to understand who you are, what makes you tick, and how you react under emotional stress. This part is probably the most difficult task, because we are not accustomed to looking deeply at ourselves; rather it is easier to form opinions and judge others. Once we truly understand ourselves, we can begin to improve our emotional intelligence and take it to the next level. This is when self-awareness comes into play. People with a high EI do not allow emotions to take control, and understand themselves and their weakness and strengths.

Let’s consider the emotion of anger. You are very angry at your boss or at your partner, hence you act on impulse driven by anger. The result: you a) send a very rude email to your boss or b) you yell and insult your partner. This in return, might cause the loss of your job or it may cause you to lose your lifelong partner which could have been avoided if you had self-control and not acted on impulse. For instance, if you waited 24 hours before you sent that email, it would have given you enough time to calm down, and re-word it before you sent it to your boss. This is just one example of many that I am sure you and many people encounter on a daily basis. These types of situations can be avoided if you have a good grasp on your EI.

Here is a list of actions you can implement to increase you EI:

1 Observe how you react to people: do not quickly judge or stereotype others.

2 Be empathetic with people: put yourself in their place and try to understand their feelings and emotions

3 Be humble, but with confidence, and accept the mistakes you make. Don’t be quick to blame others.

4 Constantly evaluate yourself to determine what your strength and weakness may be. You want to be ready to fight off those bad emotions when they try to control you. Be a step ahead.

5 Apologize. Taking responsibility for your actions is very important. Do it quickly.

6 Before you do something that is charged with emotions, try to analyze the overall result. Will your actions affect others in a positive or negative way?

7 Be flexible. You must learn to adjust to different situations. Everyone is different and although a particular strategy might apply to some people ,it might not work for others.

8 Take your time. Time can be a positive or negative factor sometimes. Give yourself time to think logically before you decide what to do. Make sure you are clear concerning your emotions.

We are all gifted with both regular, and emotional intelligence. Being able to combine both is what sets one person apart from another. Having only a high IQ is insufficient to be successful, you need both. In the end, it is our emotions that help us survive, thrive and avoid danger. The key is to be able to use them to harness the power of emotional intelligence to our full potential.

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