PBCBA BAR BULLETINS pbcba_bulletin_october 2018 | Page 4

PRESIDENT ’ S Message

PRESIDENT ’ S Message

My Journey to Find Work-Life Balance and Manage the Demands of the Legal Profession

Gregory P . Huber 2018-19 PBCBA President
The story I ’ m about to tell is one that only a few people know and one I have been hesitant to share but with the recent attention on mental health and awareness in the legal profession , I feel it is important for more of us to speak up and share our stories . Growing up I remember my parents describing me as an easy-going kid who never let things bother me . As I got older I wore this easy-going , unflappable persona as a badge of honor . Indeed , it served me quite well as a new prosecutor and later as a civil trial attorney . As I transitioned to the civil practice , I remember eagerly accepting all assignments , the bigger and more difficult the better , and never letting the assigning partners know about my concerns or apprehensions . I worked crazy hours throughout the week , took work home and worked on the weekends . I did it without complaining because that ’ s what real trial lawyers did . I did this when I was newly married . I continued to do it after my daughter was born . I even remember leaving a family get together early when a partner called to find out where I was ( I was out of town visiting family on a pre-approved vacation ) and told me “ I was in the big league now ” and he needed me to get back to work on a project . I left my family vacation early and when I got home went straight to work on the project , never complaining to the partner because I was unflappable . Like most young lawyers , through the years I experienced many other “ stressful ” situations which I managed without letting anyone know how it affected me . In fact , I ’ m not even sure I knew that this “ roll with the punches ”, “ never let them see you sweat ” persona was taking its toll on me . But , about a decade into my legal career that all changed .
By this time , I was blessed to be at my dream job , working on cases that most lawyers would never be lucky enough to handle . I had grown as an attorney sharpening my litigation and trial skills , but I had not acquired any skills to manage the demands of the legal profession . Honestly , I didn ’ t think I needed any of those skills because I was easy-going and unflappable . I remember just getting back in town from depositions , work was piling up at the office and I was going through a divorce – that was the day my journey to work-life balance began . I was sitting in my office and I felt this weird feeling in my chest . I ignored it . Then I felt it again . It wouldn ’ t go away . I was having trouble breathing . I still tried to ignore it . With a family history of heart disease ignoring it was probably a really bad idea but I did , and it eventually went away . A few days later it happened again . I ignored it again and it went away for a little while , but it kept coming back . Finally , I decided “ it ” wasn ’ t going away , so I better get checked out . I saw a cardiologist and expected to be given bad news about the condition of my heart . What he told me completely blind-sided me . The good news was , my heart was fine , and I wasn ’ t having a heart attack , what I experienced was anxiety and most likely a minor panic attack . He asked what I did for a living and how I managed the stress . I was thinking what is he talking about I ’ m a trial lawyer of course the job can be demanding but the stress doesn ’ t bother me . I ’ m easy-going . I ’ m unflappable .
Over the next few days and weeks I was in denial but the weird feeling in my chest kept reminding me that something wasn ’ t right . I don ’ t know exactly when it was but eventually I realized I had to make some changes . But how ? As a busy attorney with a family there never seemed to be enough hours in the day to do anything for myself . Reluctantly , I decided to talk to a counselor . He helped me realize it was okay to put myself and my needs first sometimes particularly when it came to my physical and emotional health . He also made me understand that there will always be deadlines and time constraints , so I had to make a deliberate decision to take care of myself . After all , he explained if I wasn ’ t healthy how could I be a good attorney for my clients let alone a good father . It was foreign to me and it took practice ,
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( cont . pg 8 )