Parker County Today September 2017 - Page 114

our opinions: CURMUDGEON MUSINGS The Last Word BY MARK BROWN Possible Replacement For Waterboarding? Make ‘Em Watch Late Night Television So Sunday evening on Network Television: Celebrity Feud / Steve Harvey’s Funderdome / Big Brother / Candy Crush / Preseason Football C ould there be anything more boring? Yes! A few weeks ago ABC was all thrilled about “Battle of the Network Stars.” Literally the worst show I have ever partially watched. Really? What are they thinking? Some washed-up B and C level quasi-celebrities? Why? Please why? Going to the movies and they play no fewer than eight movie previews, so, for at least 20 minutes after the published start time, the actual movie starts. Here is another one — restaurants that don’t adhere to their published store hours. Nothing better than looking forward to a breakfast, showing up and they decided to change their hours from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. Robo calls — The Bane of our existence. Calls days and nights and now they have learned to mask their call, they use your area code, so you think it might be some- one important, someone you might want to talk to — but NOOOOOO. So, we’re at a stage in society, where companies have to totally disguise themselves. Do they really think you’re going to buy or spend with them? Maybe people do fall for their gimmicks, otherwise they would stop. So I guess we buy a lot of weird car warranties and college loan forgiveness programs, even if you never had a college loan. 112 Yahoo news on your computer — trust me don’t click on any topic that says, Sponsored. If you do, it will be disappointing because it’s a trick. It will usually be a top 10 of something, which on the surface sounds interesting. But what they do is take you on an advertising trip, trying to get to the thing you thought was interesting. Totally, a waste of time. I can envision the corporate meetings where these ideas are cooked up. I’m sure it happens something like this — “How can we fake out the American public?” Executive #1 says. “Well, let’s create a maze of tricks,” Executive #2 answers. “While the idiots are on the journey, we will advertise them to death.” Why do Apple products cost so much? I’m really ready to go back to a little flip phone. Really! Let’s all rebel against all of this craziness. The new IPhone is reportedly going to cost $1000!! And all the advanced “leaked” insider info says they will not be able to supply enough to sell to everyone who are dying to have it.  So, just in my conspiratorial mind, that creates a feed- ing frenzy. Everyone will forget the $1000 price tag. But wait, it won’t matter that the thing is $1000. You can pay it out over 36 months, kind of like a car payment. Some Good Things ... David Letterman is going to do six new shows on Netflix. They’re set to come out in 2018. Let’s just hope they’re not political. Jerry Seinfeld’s “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee,” is a really great show!