our opinion: CURMUDGEON MUSINGS The Last Word Suckers! SEPTEMBER 2016 PA R K E R C O U N T Y T O D AY I ’ve done a massive amount of driving in the last few months, and not just in Texas. I have been all over the country. Here are a couple of interesting observations I’ve made. First of all, almost everywhere I have traveled, whether here in Texas or other states, you see the same sign, “Right lane closed in 1500 feet — merge left.” First it makes me wonder why the right lane got so screwed up, to have to work on it throughout the USA? Secondly, why does everyone refuse to obey the sign? So what generally happens is that people like my wife and I always merger right away. SUCKERS! Yes, we are suckers. Why, simply because we are about the only ones that do — ever. This is what generally happens, very few merge right away, so we’re stuck in the left lane and others fly by us and then force their way in at the last minute, usually causing some kind of road rage. I actually saw a woman jump out of her car, stop right in the middle of the road. She had been trying to prevent the left merging maniacs (LMMs) from forcing their way in, so she finally couldn’t take it anymore, jumped out, and refused to move. This action allowed the good guys to go on, and stopped the bad guys from forcing in. She was a really good traffic cop if you ask everyone. Only trouble is, the guy she stopped also got out and they began to argue. Now a few years ago I probably would not 112 have worried that she might get physically hurt. Today though is a different story. We live in the age of Pokémon. We live in the age of grown adults chasing something called Pokémon. We live in an age of people chasing whatever this is and driving off cliffs, driving into people because they’re too busy chasing Pokémon and not paying any attention to where they’re going. We live in a world where people chasing Pokémon are going into people’s yards and homes uninvited, you got it...chasing Pokémon. We live in a world where people are quitting their jobs to ... What? Chase Pokémon. The world must be so bad for so many people that they have to escape reality. Really? Chasing Pokémon. Wow. If you want to chase something safer, why not chase history? I recently had a chance to be in Colorado, and during a day off, looked up Charlie Goodnight’s ranch a little west of Pueblo, his barn is still there and has been since the 1860s and in fact it’s being restored. What a cool thing to see. In my opinion it’s so much better than that Pokémon nonsense. Next month I will finish my story about being robbed by the Acton Texas water department. Yes, robbed. They have in effect put a gun to my head and said, “We want $600.00!” Stay tuned!