our opinion: CURMUDGEON MUSINGS
The Last
Word
Suckers!
SEPTEMBER 2016
PA R K E R C O U N T Y T O D AY
I
’ve done a massive amount of driving in the
last few months, and not just in Texas. I have
been all over the country. Here are a couple
of interesting observations I’ve made.
First of all, almost everywhere I have
traveled, whether here in Texas or other states,
you see the same sign, “Right lane closed in
1500 feet — merge left.” First it makes me
wonder why the right lane got so screwed up,
to have to work on it throughout the USA?
Secondly, why does everyone refuse to obey
the sign? So what generally happens is that
people like my wife and I always merger right
away. SUCKERS! Yes, we are suckers. Why,
simply because we are about the only ones
that do — ever.
This is what generally happens, very few
merge right away, so we’re stuck in the left
lane and others fly by us and then force their
way in at the last minute, usually causing
some kind of road rage. I actually saw a
woman jump out of her car, stop right in the
middle of the road. She had been trying to
prevent the left merging maniacs (LMMs) from
forcing their way in, so she finally couldn’t
take it anymore, jumped out, and refused to
move. This action allowed the good guys to
go on, and stopped the bad guys from forcing
in. She was a really good traffic cop if you ask
everyone. Only trouble is, the guy she stopped
also got out and they began to argue.
Now a few years ago I probably would not
112
have worried that she might get physically
hurt. Today though is a different story. We
live in the age of Pokémon. We live in the
age of grown adults chasing something called
Pokémon. We live in an age of people chasing
whatever this is and driving off cliffs, driving
into people because they’re too busy chasing
Pokémon and not paying any attention to
where they’re going.
We live in a world where people chasing
Pokémon are going into people’s yards
and homes uninvited, you got it...chasing
Pokémon. We live in a world where people
are quitting their jobs to ... What? Chase
Pokémon.
The world must be so bad for so many
people that they have to escape reality.
Really? Chasing Pokémon. Wow.
If you want to chase something safer, why
not chase history? I recently had a chance to
be in Colorado, and during a day off, looked
up Charlie Goodnight’s ranch a little west of
Pueblo, his barn is still there and has been
since the 1860s and in fact it’s being restored.
What a cool thing to see. In my opinion it’s so
much better than that Pokémon nonsense.
Next month I will finish my story about
being robbed by the Acton Texas water
department. Yes, robbed. They have in effect
put a gun to my head and said, “We want
$600.00!”
Stay tuned!