Parker County Today October 2017 - Page 114

our opinions: CURMUDGEON MUSINGS The Last BY MARK BROWN Word iPhone X — In the ‘Grand’ Scheme of Things T he longer I live, the more apparent it becomes that every- thing in life is a competition. I have been reading recently about the upcoming launch of the next Apple iPhone that they are calling the iPhone X. The headlines I saw this morning read, “Don’t expect to get the new X Phone anytime soon. Get ready to line up.” So, if, in fact, I wanted the new iPhone X, it would be a competition for me to get one. Even if I had the inclination to spend more than $1,000 for a phone, I would never line up for one, ever. I will not be in competition for a phone. In fact, now that I’m reading that they will be in such short supply, who knows who will get one. They are even saying now that the new Apple Watch Series 3 is not working properly. My antidote for this — just don’t buy any of it. I know that it will never happen, but just once wouldn’t it be cool to finally tell a company like Apple we are not going to participate in the madness? “Keep your $1,000 iPhone, keep your new Apple Watch Series 3.” It’s not working, anyway. We are all going back to flip phones; life would be so much simpler, no more Insta-Google-Tweet-Snap-Face! Just think how much money, time and how many relationships you could save. First, just add up the money and time (especially if you lined up or camped out to get a phone) we have all spent to buy these iPhones. Apple has us talked into financing phones for a couple of years or so — like a dad-gum car. It’s a trick; they’ve got the phones so expensive they make you do that. It’s the only way they can make it somewhat palatable. And we do it! Yep, simple flip phone — it’s safer anyway; with a flip phone you can’t butt dial, you won’t be able to text the wrong person (because it‘s too hard to text from an old flip phone, anyway), which is one of the most dangerous things that can happen. I heard of a person recently who got two texts simultaneously, one from her boss, and one from a friend. Well, she answered the wrong one, because she was on auto pilot; she thought she was telling her friend that her boss was a moron, and she thought she was texting her friend congratulations on quitting and getting a much better job. So I’m sure you can guess, she crossed up the texts. And there is no feeling quite like realizing what you just did [in a case like that]. So just think of how much better life would be. You could actually have a real conservation with your friends, family members and, best of all — your kids. Going to restaurants 112 would actually be fun again without all of the smart phone stuff, less car accidents so people would live longer. Folks, if you want to take a picture, just bring a camera! People have done it for years. Really, what’s the downside? Would the world really suffer if Apple didn’t have more money than most countries? You wouldn’t have to pay $30 for a $3 cord anymore. Your house won’t look like a charg- ing depot for NASA. Go ahead, break out t