Parker County Today October 2015 | Page 25

PA R K E R C O U N T Y T O D AY Blog entry: “When I first got diagnosed and found out that I’d face chemo, I think my biggest fear was the actual treatment and the minute that it enters the body. But now I see that the more difficult challenge is continuing to look forward and put one foot in front of the other when each treatment reduces your reserves just a little bit more. So, when I see you and I’m smiling or telling you that I’m doing good, just know that I can only do those things because I do realize that all of this is necessary to endure for the bigger picture (survival), and I am not defeated/ quitting, etc. I’m simply living life to the fullest and with the best attitude possible while I can.” After Tamoxifen brought with it joint pai n, the doctors switched Stacey’s treatment to a monthly injection of Zoladex, which shuts down the ovaries, and an Aromatase Inhibitor to manage estrogen levels. Then, Arimidex. After a year of preventative drugs, she had a hysterectomy. The doctors were supposed to take her ovaries out to prevent a recurrence of the cancer. Blog entry: “[The doctor] spoke to Garry and told him he was able to keep my ovaries… . What?? So after I start to come out from under anesthesia, nurse tells me the same thing. I was so disappointed and couldn’t hold back the tears as the ovaries were the most important thing to go for preventing a breast cancer recurrence. So, phone calls were made and [the doctor] returned to discuss sending me back for [an] oophorectomy. That started around 12:45 a.m. He was able to use same incisions (thank God) and all was complete by around 3:15 a.m. Not sure what the overall purpose of the process might have been. But nonetheless, it’s all done and I know this is going to put me in a much better place physically and mentally. So grateful for all of the prayers, love and support. God is so good and his grace continues to cover me.” Stacey has stopped questioning “why me.” Through this process she has learned and shared. By sharing, she taught her family, friends, strangers on the internet and her beloved students about the benefits of staying positive. She also believes wholeheartedly in the Serenity Prayer. That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. And she believes there is a purpose for everything, even though she may not be able to see it at the time. In June, as her students graduated, a wonderful surprise came and perhaps helped give more meaning to her experience. Blog entry: “June 7, 2015: At the end of every school year, all teachers reflect. There are some whom we know we reached, others who reached us, and sometimes a small group that leaves me wondering, as they were so quiet, confident and compliant. Did I reach them? Do they think I’m just crazy? (OK...maybe that’s just me). This year, I was honored to be selected by two of these students who graduated on the Distinguished Academic Plan (highest level of course work/diploma we offer) to attend a luncheon, where they honored a teacher who inspired them. Both of these students were in my classroom during the 2013-14 school year. That year was filled with seven weeks out for radiation and an ongoing emotional roller coaster filled with days of complete OCTOBER 2015 of humor and optimism when possible. Teenagers are just like the rest of us: they want to be treated with respect. Try it and you’ll be amazed at how kind and compassionate they can be. As for Maggie, she is good and ready for this journey because as we always say, ‘we’re the do-that girls.’ It’s funny how this type of news changes your mind and perception of the everyday things around you. As Maggie practiced her cartwheels tonight, I felt the need to do one myself… just because I can. So, today, I know that I will ‘do that’ and kick cancer’s butt just because I can.” Stacey can, and she did, but not without the emotional rollercoaster one goes through when dealing with lifealtering change. Blog entry: “Today, without the slightest warning, I am so angry! I’m angry that… I have to give up time with my precious daughter to plan and prepare for the next month. I have to miss time with my students at the end of the year after we’ve figured each other out and I’ve bonded with them. My parents have to worry about me, instead of I about them. This wonderful man by my side has to watch me fall apart and no matter how much he wants to, can’t take away my pain or his. That the beautifully ordinary life I’d always imagined having is finally here and I have to let it go for a while. This anger is all directed at cancer and will only strengthen my resolve to beat it. But for now, I must allow myself to be angry in hopes that I can move past this emotion and closer to understanding the purpose of this experience.” Losing her hair and her breasts, Stacey often struggled with her desire to stay feminine. She found ways to deal with the loss, and even sat for a photo shoot with teacher/ photographer Diane Bolinger of db Photography. It showed her that she’s still beautiful. The images also showed her how powerful she was, and what strength she had. Blog entry: “I’m now on day 3 after my first Taxol treatment. Nausea is much less prevalent. Yay! But… I’m pretty sure I know what arthritis must feel like now, as I’m having random shooting pains in my bones and joints. Again, not easy, but do-able. On hair loss: this has been a very interesting aspect of this experience. I’ve noticed that: people who know me well are quite emotional about my hair, those who don’t know me very well have no idea what to say, and small children think that my head accessories are quite intriguing. I must say that it truly bothers me less every day. While in Galveston, I decided that if I can deal with ‘all of this,’ then other people can deal with my lack of hair. So, now that you’ve all seen the amazing pics Diane Bolinger took of me with my bald head, I must say that it feels like you’ve seen one of my battle scars in this ongoing fight. Thankful for the love, support and kindness you’ve given so freely. You have no idea how much it means to have you all on my team!” As Stacey continued the treatment process, she continued to be an open book, sharing with her students, friends and family. Even after chemotherapy and radiation, Stacey had to continue on with preventative drugs Tamoxifen (the hormone blocker that prevents recurrence in hormone positive cancers). Tamoxifen also has unwanted side effects. 23