A Letter From The Editor
JANUARY 2016
PA R K E R C O U N T Y T O D AY
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ever really been a big fan of the New Year’s resolution thing, mostly because I don’t believe making
self-improvements should be a once a year effort.
For me, at least, working to be a better person is a fulltime, lifelong job.
Long ago I realized being the person my parents wanted me to be is a long process, a goal that I doubt I will
ever attain in this lifetime; but I’m still trying.
I take it all one area at a time, like eating an elephant.
Currently, I’m working on striking that delicate balance
between being kind, polite and gentle while at the same
time shooting for being strong, assertive, and a little scary.
It’s not easy being scary when you are barely five feet tall.
If you read any of the top business journals, you know
that women in business are expected to reflect that perfect
balance in order to get ahead — especially if they’re like
me and have no balance whatsoever.
Truth is, women tend to take everything in business
personally (I know I do).
Men tend to have an easier time keeping business
matters in a separate compartment — they tend to keep
business matters filed away as business.
Example: Tom’s boss asks him to take on an extra
project at work. He’s just agreed to coach his son’s little
league team, something he really wanted to do. How does
he handle tactfully declining the project?
“Thanks for thinking of me,” Tom says, with a halfsmile that’s not too personal and not too distant. “As much
as I’d like to do this, I just can’t take on the extra work
right now.” End of discussion. Boss gives the project to
someone who has the time to deal with it. Life goes on.
Everybody’s happy.
Compare Tom’s scenario with Caroline’s.
Caroline has just agreed to coach her daughter’s
volleyball team, something she’s looking forward to. Then,
her boss calls her in and offers to put her in charge of a
special project, one that Caroline is also excited about.
She says she’ll think about it. She goes home and instead
of thinking about it she frets about it. She doesn’t sleep.
She gets up looking like a frog princess. She wonders
if her boss is harboring the misconception that she has
no life — or is it all just a clever plot her boss has set
up to make her fail? “I saw the way she looked at me,”
Caroline says to herself. “It all goes back to that time
when I showed up at the office party wearing the same
dress as the boss. She hates me. I think I looked better in
that dress. She’ll never forgive me for looking great in that
dress. AAAAGGGGHHHHH!”
Meanwhile, the boss simply wants someone to take
on the project and do a good job with as little drama as
possible.
By the time Caroline gets to the office, she has
rehearsed the speech she plans to deliver as she tenders
her resignation. She gets an audience with her boss.
Before she can finish the first sentence she’s in tears. Her
boss tries to lighten the mood by telling her that there’s no
crying in journalism.
Caroline becomes hysterical and has to take a leave of
absence because she can’t stop crying — for months and
months. Her daughter’s team has to find another coach.
Caroline thinks her daughter and all of her daughter’s
friends hate her because she let them down.
Most women tend to overthink things like this. OK. I tend
to overthink things. The woman in this scenario is not
named Caroline but is actually me except that I don’t have
a daughter. Instead I have three dogs and a cat. I have
never turned down a project, but I once thought about it.
Maybe I should make one New Year’s Resolution — to
never again write about the difference between men and
women in the workplace.
Also, my other resolution, if I made them, is to be
kinder to the nasty people I may meet in the future.
They’re probably nasty through no fault of their own.
May all yourself-improvement efforts prove successful.
Marsha Brown,
Editor-in-Chief, Publisher and Brewista,
Parker County Today Magazine