ests, according to Dr. Buckner.
“It’s easier if you marry someone who
enjoys the things that you enjoy,”
she said. “If you love sports and you
marry someone who hates sports but
loves ballet, that can be a challenge.”
It doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker, however. If you love your spouse
enough, you can study up on whatever they love and find something to
at least find interesting.
But, it’s one of our experts who
pointed out a simple, plainly sensible
way of avoiding a lot of the most
common ways of avoiding a lot of
problems, in the beginning.
“Don’t be hasty about getting
married,” said longtime husband Paul
Paschall, “It’s more important to do it
right. Don’t settle and don’t get in a
hurry to get married.”
Hold out for the right person.
LOVE ONLINE, LOVE OFFLINE
Love 101: dating online in the 21st century
BY ABIGAIL GEIGER
Y
with Harp music
by Sydney Howell
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Call for a free in-studio, private demonstration
to hear and select your personal choices.
FEBRUARY 2016
ears before Match.com, eHarmony, and Christian Mingle, online dating
usually brought up a very different picture in people’s minds. Something
that looked a great deal like You’ve Got Mail.
A cute little Meg Ryan, i.e., Kathleen Kelly sitting behind a computer
screen and on the other end, business tycoon Joe Fox played by the handsome
Tom Hanks. You’d think it would be that easy and love would be immediate.
Online dating is vastly different than what we see pictured in movies or even
commercials for certain dating sites.
Unfortunately, in some stories Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks turn out to be
Janice and Gunther from Friends. The reality is that finding someone online is
about as reliable as finding someone in real life. What we have to understand
is that yes, online dating is scary but so is meeting a stranger out with friends.
Sitting down with match maker Ashley Fox from the Fort Worth Dating
Company, I asked about the pros and cons of dating online. “You can meet a
lot of people in a short amount of time and theoretically go out on dates with
all of these people,” Fox explained. “But you don’t know if that person is telling you about their career, their background as far as criminal history; their
marital status. They could still be married!”
Undeniably this is true. Behind the mask of a computer screen you can
be anything you want to be; whoever you want to be. Miss Fox also said that
“One of the biggest cons is you have to do it alone. You’re kind of just putting
yourself out there.” Which honestly is not much different than what someone
would do in person. As a twenty-three-year-old in the dating pool, it’s so very
easy to get overwhelmed at the prospect of ever finding someone.
In my own experience with online dating, I have been charmed, insulted,
interested, propositioned and stood up. Fortunately, I’m made of stronger stuff.
Online dating, I’ve found is just as complicated as finding someone in real life.
It’s a great deal the same. You have to get to know the person and you can’t
jump to conclusions based on what they look like.
Once again, I’m reminded of You’ve Got Mail. Kathleen Kelly was under
the impression that that NY152 was “kind and funny, he has the most wonderful sense of humor … ” when in reality she had already met him but she’d
seen when he was at his worst. That’s the thing about anything online. You
don’t know what you know, until you know.
Anything we do in life is scary especially when we share it with another
person. Finding love online is only the evolution, not the destruction of love.
Love changes just like everything else in life. Thankfully, Kathleen’s friend
Birdie’s advice is timel ess.
“You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life. Oh, I know
it doesn’t feel like that. You feel like a big fat failure now. But you’re not. You
are marching into the unknown armed with ... Nothing. Have a sandwich.”
Show Your
Love
9