our advice: SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS
The Brainiac’s Guide to
Surviving the Holidays
Our handy-dandy guide to actually enjoying the
holidays (while avoiding criminal prosecution)
“Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the
genial flame of charity in the heart.” – Washington Irving
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.” – Victor Borge
T
Some people would rather shoot their eye out with a Red Ryder BB gun
than attempt to cater to the whims and idiosyncrasies of eccentric relatives,
and the occasional sordid family drama that they drag along with them like
a cheap suitcase with a bum wheel. But, unless you can afford to spend
the holidays blissfully alone on a beach in Fiji sipping a frozen concoction
that helps you hang on, you’re going to have to, as my mother said, build a
bridge and get over it. “It,” being your aversion to your hypercritical motherin-law/crazy Aunt Sally/deodorant-shunning cousin Bubba Joe Bob, etc.
If you are of the same philosophy as Borge above, Parker County Today has
compiled a list of survival tips to help you avoid any unplanned overnight
stays at Sheriff Larry Fowler’s Bed & Breakfast during the holiday season.
DECEMBER 2016
PA R K E R C O U N T Y T O D AY
he best thing about the holidays is that it gives you time with your family,
time to gather together and share the warmth of each other’s love — or of
your Aunt Bitty’s hot flashes.
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