The Mercantile
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seat our very liberal relatives
next to their very conserva-
tive counterparts; we find it
entertaining. But I do realize
that most people don’t enjoy
discussions about things like
whether or not people on
welfare should have to pee into
a cup to keep receiving taxpay-
ers’ money, especially not over
dinner. So it might be a good
idea not to seat your hippie
cousin Sunflower next to your
Aunt Katherine who’s wearing
her Make America Great Again
diamond charm bracelet.
Talking Points.
Even if you don’t have a
liberal in your family, every-
body has at least one relative
who relishes pushing every-
one else’s buttons. We suggest
placing Duck tape over said
relative’s mouth for the dura-
tion of the meal, but that might
create even more havoc, not
to mention some awkward
moments in their dining
process. In this case, there isn’t
much you can do except grin
and bear it, and do some deep
breathing and make sure every-
one has taken their blood pres-
sure meds. You should also try
to keep the conversation cheer-
ful and merry. It’s probably not
the best time to talk about hot-
button issues or other topics
you know are going to provoke
either a debate or uncomfort-
able silence. Long ago, when
I was a surly teenager, I posed
the question at the table,
“Jesus was born in October,
so why are we celebrating in
December?” Then one cousin
once announced, “You know,
the world is going to end on
Dec. 31, 2012, so you better
enjoy this meal.” Ah, teenag-
ers. If your relatives are going
to act like children (or if they
actually are children) gently
redirect the conversation onto
more pleasant topics.
But, honestly, the holiday
season is about being thankful
for what we have and putting
in a little extra effort to be
kind and compassionate; it
never hurts. For better or for
worse, this is your family, so
you should probably make a
concerted effort to be kind and
gracious.
Remember, next
year you might just
be their guest.