The Last
our opinion: COLUMN
By Mark Brown
Word
Obsessions morph into Raisinets
AUGUST 2015
PA R K E R C O U N T Y T O D AY
I
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’m amazed by the remarkable obsessions,
crazes and fads I stumble on as I deal
with life.
I’ve mentioned Apple products in this
magazine before, and to be clear, I sincerely
like most of them.
But it’s the Apple store itself that’s another matter. I avoid going to them as much as
possible. Why? Because I just don’t enjoy
the atmosphere, the culture, the language,
the contrived air of “trendy” that permeates, the arrogant “hipster” herd that flocks
to the stores like cattle modern-day hippies,
Starbucks cup in every hand, etc.
Unfortunately, sometimes I simply have
to go to an Apple store.
So, here’s how I feel about it. If you want
to discover what life is like on other planets,
simply visit the Apple store nearest to you.
This brings me to the Apple Watch.
Against my better judgment, I bought one.
I knew I would. Told you I would. So, I’ve
had it now for about three months and I
have to say it’s the first Apple product that I
have purchased that I just simply don’t like.
It’s not that it has a problem working or
doing what Apple says it will do. That’s not
it.
It does exactly what they said it would
do. Which is, in my opinion, the challenge.
I see no need for it. It tells time, has multiple
watch faces that you can choose from, but
only when you move your wrist significantly
does the watch face show, and it goes off
quickly. So, I found I am spinning my wrist
like a maniac just to see the time. Hey, there
may be ways to make it stay on longer, but
Apple is obviously worried about battery
life. You can get text and email messages on
it just like your phone, only they’re postagestamp size. Also, there is an app face you
can get to, but go ahead and call me old – I
can’t see them well enough to use them.
It will work for Apple pay, which I don’t
use. It will implement the map feature
– can’t see that either. It will track activity, which is good. It also plays music
and answers phone calls. But who cares?
It’s inconvenient. So I’m calling it the
iEdsel. There is just no reason for it.
Have you ever spent the night at a
friend’s home and slept on the sleeper sofa
or futon? If you put a definition to those
things it would be “sore back.”
So, when somebody says we have a sofa
bed you can sleep on, it’s got to be another
way to say, “Don’t stay.”
So take the hint!
And yes, the Weatherford movie theatre
still hates Raisinets! I don’t know why. We
do know that, even in a recent movie,
Raisinets played a large role – you would
think, maybe?
One last thing.
Parades – any real reason for a parade?
Let’s discuss this next month.
I have ideas.