A Letter From The Editor
Fairwell to the Goof
It was snowing that November morning when she first came into my life , she and her three brothers . The boys were all the same size ; she was twice as big . She was the most vocal member of the family , even as a newborn .
Along with her brothers , she was the product of a “ fling ” between our regal , black , long-haired dachshund Muttdonna and a Jack Russell clowndog named Goober that bounced all over the neighborhood .
While we searched for the perfect dachshund to match with her to produce the perfect pups , Goober had other ideas . He bounced into our backyard . I heard strange noises , rushed outside , afraid that Mutt had gotten hurt . There , I saw Goober behaving inappropriately toward Mutt . I chased him off our property , then pointed to her and sternly said , “ NO PUPPIES .”
Six weeks later , I was concerned about her rapid weight gain and her sudden eating disorder . Had she developed bulimia over night ? I saw her binge , but she never stuck her paws down her throat to purge .
I took her to the amazing Dr . Noel Bryan who pronounced her pregnant .
I was stunned . Then I recall Goober in my backyard weeks earlier . Surely not . “ How pregnant is she , doctor ?” I asked . He said , without hesitation , “ She ’ ll have them in two weeks . There ’ s four of them .”
I pictured what a cross between our beautiful Muttdonna and Goober would look like . My mind reeled . It was not a pretty image that my mind
conjured . I asked about abortion . Dr . Bryan wouldn ’ t do it . He assured me that despite my contempt for Goober , the puppies would be wonderful puppies and that everyone in town would want one . He was correct — about all of it . Two weeks to the day , Mutt gave birth to four puppies . Everyone wanted one . The girl was a lovely caramel brown with big , expressive eyes that looked like they were lined with kohl pencil . The boys were all black , white and tan .
Just days old , she started bossing around her brothers . She reminded me of that big girl on The View — Star Jones . We named her Star Bones and decided to keep her . We began referring to her breed as “ Jack-o- Weenies .”
We actually had puppy stalkers . That was a good thing because Muttdonna was not really excited about motherhood . When her puppies were two weeks old , she decided she ’ d had it with breast feeding . She ’ d nurse the puppies for a minute or so and then she ’ d roll her eyes , get up and walk out with the puppies hanging off her . They ’ d let go , one by one . Star was always the last puppy to let go .
The prettiest boy puppy went to a sweet , smart little boy that lived way out in the country who named him Buddy . Buddy and his young master went fishing together and Buddy would tag along with his young master when he went horseback riding . Buddy always managed to keep up . The two were inseparable .
Meanwhile , Star Bones was growing up to be an adorable , funny member of our family . She had a paw or two in two worlds — the dachshund world and the world of Jack Russells . She ’ d started doing the dachshund “ sit up pretty ” thing , but then she ’ d start bouncing around , then she ’ d stop and sit up again . She had two very different ears . One was floppy and the other stood up with a point . Someone said Star had a lazy ear . Because of her odd ears , we nicknamed her “ Goofy .” It fit .
Star was also talkative . She had a half-whine that was conversational and expressive . She would gripe us out if we were late with her food or treats , or if she wanted to be on a piece of furniture that was too tall for her to reach and we didn ’ t notice in a timely fashion . Whatever happened around the house , Star would talk about it .
She began sleeping at the foot of our bed ; Mutt wouldn ’ t let her sleep with her .
Star developed a habit . Just as we
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