spring 2017 PSG 11
problem, but when we arrived, it was everything we expected: the waiters with the white aprons, the wooden floor, the old world feel. We ordered their ‘steak for two’ – and it came out with melted butter on it! Delicious too, and plenty for us both. But we wanted to keep savoring what this place had to offer, so we ordered something called ‘Schlag’ for dessert. Oh, my! And we got to walk some of it off when we discovered that the restaurant only accepts cash and had to look for an ATM.”
Ah, that’s better. We are starting to get a much clearer picture of what happened. So what does this have to do with your experience of parental alienation? Depending on your circumstance, potentially a lot.
One of the jobs of a lawyer is to tell a story about something that happened in the past. This requires one to paint the bigger picture, detailing the major events that happened along the way. But it also demands the ability to add details – the nuances that will bolster the credibility of the story.
You can help your lawyer with this important part of building your case. To enable you to do this vital part well, we recommend some sort of a diary, and an email diary in particular. Send a short (short!) email to yourself the day of an event, or as shortly after as you can. There are several benefits to keeping such a diary. Firstly, using email gives you a built-in method for establishing a credible chronology – the email’s date and time stamp. A chronology is an incredibly important part of any case because your lawyer will want to know what happened, when it happened and who was involved.
Secondly, recording events and your reactions to them when they are fresh in your mind – particularly with specific, corroborating detail – will further bolster the credibility of your argument. Thirdly, this is proven to bolster future recollection, should you need to do that for your case.
Therefore, keep a diary of your interactions with your child(ren). For example, “I took Miranda to Akin Park for three hours after breakfast on Saturday. At first, we hunted for frogs by the pond, and then we had lunch at the hot dog stand.”
Moreover, record any significant conversations or interactions with your ex- or soon-to-be-ex, especially of what you know to be alienating behaviors. Record exact quotes where possible, to reduce the risk of these being lost in the mists of time. You might also want to record visits to therapists, lawyers, doctors, and the like. This will give you and your lawyer an electronic breadcrumb trail to follow.
Keep your email diary in a specific electronic folder, and print or back it up occasionally, just in case. There is nothing magical about an email diary; you could use a hand-written diary as well, but you might have some proof issues establishing when an entry was actually written.
What is important is that you keep this diary as succinct, specific and factual as possible. It is valid to record and process your emotions, but we advise against mixing those into this particular diary.
Finally, there is another reason such a diary, particularly of your interaction with your children, is well worth keeping. It could prove to be invaluable in any effort to reunite with your child(ren), or in post-reunification. Through such a diary, you will have a contemporaneous record of your efforts to be a parent to your child(ren), a record you can share with them as you begin to recover your authentic bond.
Keep this diary as succinct, specific and factual as possible; I advise against mixing emotions in.
Using email for diary gives you a built-in method for establishing a credible chronology.
Recording events and your reactions to them when they are fresh in your mind is proven to bolster future recollection. is proven to bolster future recollection