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Acceptance.
Courage.
Wisdom.
I hear these words at the opening of every 12 Step meeting in the context of the Serenity Prayer. My day begins with them and ends with them. These words guide, comfort, and remind me that the disease of addiction is a family one. My freedom from obsessive, addictive behaviors rests in the knowledge that while addictions have affected every aspect of my life they no longer control any aspect. It is not independent of others, and I cannot maintain this freedom alone.
12 Step programs base their success on one alcoholic sharing experience, strength and hope with another. This principle has led millions to freedom from addictions or, in my case, freedom from attempting to force recovery on those I love by managing, manipulation and control. We cannot think our way into right acting, BUT we can act our way into right thinking by the practice of the 12 Steps developed by Bill W. and Dr. Bob, founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.
How yogic is that! Acceptance, courage and wisdom are with me each time I go to the mat. I accept my body as it is with old fractures, metal hardware, aging bones and other reminders of a life lived in extremes. Sometimes courage is just getting to the mat! As with my recovery program, I “do not regret the past nor with to shut the door on it.” (pps 83-84, AA Big Book). I move through asana by listening to my body, doing no harm and honoring where I am today in my practice… one day, often one moment at a time.
When on the mat, I must be honest, open-minded and willing, more principles of 12 Step recovery… open to new teachers, new postures, honest when meeting new students and attending training in unfamiliar styles and above all, willing to share my experience, strength and hope as well as growing by the experience, strength and hope of others. When struggling with my recovery as in my practice, I just breathe, trust in a power greater than myself and accept that all is as it should be at this moment.
My yoga practice and recovery cannot be separated. They naturally meld into an inclusive way of life, a life that is an affirmation to the healing power of the 12 Steps and the ancient wisdom of yoga. The breath, postures and meditation are cornerstones whether in a meeting, a conference, or on my mat. There is beauty in surrender, acceptance and, above all, gratitude.
Nikki Myers, founder of Y12SR, Yoga of 12 Step Recovery states that "a grateful addict will not use." When I am in gratitude I can work on me and leave the God of my understanding to work on everyone else. She bases Y12SR on the principle that “the issues live in our tissues.” How relevant to 12 steppers who understand that in working the Steps we have to acknowledge our past suffering (our “dukkha”), make appropriate amends and let go of what does not serve us today.
I can read the Big Book of AA and practice yoga with a video but without the personal interaction in the rooms of recovery and the yoga studio my growth is limited. In both my practice and my recovery program, progress is contingent on my relationship with a higher power, accepting that the spiritual condition must come first. When I think I can do anything to further my practice or program alone, I am headed for a S.L.I.P. when “serenity looses its priority.” When attempting to grow in my practice and recovery I must have the support of others who have walked the path before me. When I feel a bit uncomfortable in either, I reach for a Recovery slogan or acronym—and there are plenty! My favorite is “How Important Is It?” In my practice perhaps I loose my full breath when my mind begins to wander while holding a pose. What is important is that I pause, regroup, relax and begin again. I stumble in recovery but I know that I have tools to get me back on a path of comfort, serenity and gratitude.
We trust our teachers, gurus who have gone before us, old timers in recovery, sponsors and living witnesses to the power of yoga and Recovery. Rolf Gates, Tommy Rosen and, of course, Nikki Myers are champions of the miracles to be found in yoga and recovery as one. When attending the Yoga, Meditation and Recovery conferences I get a healthy dose of those three angels in this amazing journey of yoga and recovery. We take what we need, leave the rest and, above all, pass it on.
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Sara Caroline McAlister M.A., RYT 200, Y12SR
My Yoga,
My Recovery.