5
Be consistent
Deciding on your rules is
arguably the easy part; the
difficulty comes in enforcing
them. When you’re tired, in a
bad mood or just not feeling
up to par, it can be hard to
see things through when your
child is screaming the house
down. However, short-term
pain for long-term gain is the
theory here. Once your child
knows that a rule sticks they
will eventually give up trying to
break it.
Ignore some of the
negatives…
Many parents say that all
they’ve done by the end of a day
is shout “No!” at their child,
which is tiring and depressing
for everyone. There will be
times when this is inevitable
but to get out of an endless
spiral of negativity let some
of the smaller offences go
and concentrate on the major
misdemeanours. This might
mean turning a blind eye to
the odd flying fish finger at the
dinner table to tackle bedtime
tantrums.
... And praise more of the
positives
The rest of the time, praise
the positive things your child
does, such as five minutes
spent playing quietly by
themselves, a beautifully
drawn picture, behaving well
in the supermarket, and
giving you a spontaneous hug
or kiss. When your child sees
that they get lots of happy
hugs and praise for being
well behaved but little or
no response when they are
being naughty, they will soon
realise what they need to do
to get your attention in a way
that makes everyone happy.
For more information on how
to talk to your child, turn to
page 32.
Learn to let go
Try to let go of your
responsibilities now and then
to have some fun! Let your
child take the lead here and
learn how to stop worrying to
live in the moment. Play, sing,
make a mess, and forget your
inhibitions. You were a child
once, after all, so it should
come naturally (after a little
practice!)
All you need
is love (and
laughter)
The Beatles
Talk... and listen
once sang
With a young child, unable
that ‘All you
to fully voice their opinions
need is love’ and
and feelings, it is easy to just
this is certainly
talk at them instead of to
true for children.
them. Undesirable behaviour
A child who knows that
can often be a symptom of
they are well-loved will
unhappiness or insecurity,
grow in self-esteem and
so make time to sit with your
child to let them know that you happiness and will return the
affection that you give them.
can listen as well as talk. This
This is the foundation for
helps you to understand your
the most rewarding lifelong
child better, creates mutual
relationship you will have and
respect and encourages their
rapidly growing language skills. who could ask for more?
OxonFIS: the Oxfordshire Family Information Service
provides free information for parents about childcare
and child-related services.
Visit: www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/parents
or call 08452 26 26 36 or
www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/familyinformation
OXPIP: the Oxford Parent Infant Project helps
parents and babies develop more loving and secure
relationships through a confidential counselling
service. Call 01865 778034, email on
[email protected] or visit: www.oxpip.org.uk
Oxfordshire County Council’s Adult Learning:
for details on parenting classes, see
www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/adultlearning or
call 01865 797474
Netmums: a national website that offers information
on local activities, events and support sources:
www.netmums.com